The Unshed Tears
by XAmberX
Summary: Sodapop was dumped by the love of his life Sandie. He's doesn't see anyone for over two years, afraid to be hurt again. But what happens when he comes across an offer he can't refuse?
1. Why is everything so wrong?

**The Unshed Tears**

By: Amber King

Chapter 1

**Pony POV**

I picked up the payphone, and called home. Hoping someone would answer. It has only been a month since the night Dally died. Since Johnny died...Since Johnny killed the soc. Since our lives were turned upside down.

I hate walking home now, and I avoid it if I can. Things calmed down a little bit. Then just got worse with the socs. I got pushed around in the halls in school a lot. And I've been called a murderer even though I didn't kill him. Johnny did.

"Hello?" It was Sodapop, answering the phone. I wondered why he was home. "Hey Soda, Can someone come get me?" He was quiet for a minute "Yea, Sure..I'll send someone.." I thanked him and hung up the phone. I sat outside the school for another 20 minutes before Two bit pulled up.

He smiled "Get in before she shuts down." I smiled and got in the car "So what ain't Soda working today?" Two-bit looked at me for a second "Didn't he tell ya on the phone? There was an accident at the garage. One of the new guys caught a car on fire, and he got burned trying to put it out. Then got yelled at and almost lost his job because he was suppose to be watching the guy...but that's just the bosses excuse to yell at him for it." He shook his head.

I was kinda worried about Soda now..if he was burned bad enough that he couldn't even come and pick me up from school..I was real worried. Two-bit rambled on about some party he was going to tonight, and about how wasted he planned on getting. I just shook my head, and watched the road, since he wasn't.

Soon we were home and I headed inside. Soda was laying on the couch with his arms bandaged up, and a strip of gauze taped to his cheek. I walked over "How come you didn't tell me on the phone?" I asked. He smiled "Cause I figured loud mouth over there would."

I shook my head "How bad are you burned?" Soda shrugged a little "Not too bad. I think they said 2 degree on my right arm, and the rest was minor." He smirked "To hell if I know what any of that means." I smiled "Alright, so you doing anything tonight?" I asked heading into the kitchen. "Nope, I'm suppose to stay in bed for a couple days." he answered.

I nodded to myself, and ate some chips with a pepsi before going back into the living room and sitting in the recliner "Darry at work?" I asked. Soda grinned "Yep, don't even know I'm hurt yet." I laughed "Have fun explaining this one."

Soda grinned "He can't hurt me any more then I already am." I smiled and picked up a book, and started to read. Soda started to throw little wads of paper at me. I looked up at him, and he gave me an innocent look. I shook my head and went back to reading.

Soon Darry got home, and looked one look at Soda "What did you do?" he said slowly. Soda grinned "I tried to save a kitten from a burning building..." Darry shook his head "Soda, when is gonna get through your thick skull that I can't afford all these doctor visits? Especially when you can't work because of it?"

Soda kinda sank into the couch. He doesn't like being yelled at too much. I've gotten use to it, and sometimes I wonder if I like it when Soda gets into a little bit of trouble.

Darry kicked his shoes off, "How many times is this Soda? I've only paid half of what Pony's ran up in hospital bills, and you've done nothing but add onto that. Huh? How many times have you been to the hospital since Dally died."

I winced. I hated it when he talked about that stuff so casually. And he knows it. I kinda sank into the chair, and focused on my book. Soda "umm...this is the third time.." he said sheepishly. I guess Darry had a bad day at work and he wasn't thinking straight, cause the next thing he said was uncalled for. And hurt Soda more then anything.

"Soda! You've got to stop doing this! You're killing us here! Ever since _that girl _left you, you've been stuck in a rut, and just-just-just all out stupid!" he snapped. Soda looked at him with a hurt expression "S-sorry Darry...I'll be more careful." he said quietly. Then got up and disappeared into our room.

I looked up at Darry as he cursed under his breath and stalked off to the kitchen, knowing he screwed up there. I sighed, and put my book down and decided to go check on Sodapop.

**Soda POV**

I hate it when he does that. I hate it. I can't help it. I was really just trying to help this time...then he has to go and bring _her_ up. Doesn't he know it hurts me? Surely he can figure it out... He never understands. Not me, Not Pony. Not anyone. He just knows the facts. We don't have money. We need money. Getting hurt, costs money. Money we don't have.

I heard someone come into the room, and was glad to see it was Ponyboy. He smiled at me a little bit, and sat down. "Don't worry about him. He's just stressed out about--" "–The money...I know Ponyboy. I know..." I said quietly.

He wrapped an arm around my shoulders "Come on Soda...You gotta get over her...I hate seeing you upset every time someone says the wrong thing..." I sighed "I know pony...I know...but...it's just so hard...I loved her so much."

He sighed "I know Soda, Sandie was perfect for you...but I guess she just wasn't meant to be with you." I sighed, knowing he was right. I shouldn't be this upset. It happened months ago, but it still hurts so much. I don't know if I'll ever be able to fall in love again.

Pony sat with me for a while, until Darry called us in for dinner. It was quiet. It always gets quiet when I'm upset. I guess it's because I'm usually the person who's cheering them up. I wish someone could cheer me up every once in a while.

But Darry works to hard to have the energy to try, and Pony's been through to much to keep himself happy most the time. Maybe I just need a new girlfriend...

No. I couldn't. I'm still not over Sandie.. I sighed, and finished eating before putting my plate in the sink, and going outside. A little later, Pony came out. I kinda wish he wouldn't. But he's just trying to help. He doesn't know I want to be alone right now. I just need to think.

Pony stood on the porch, watching the sun set. Half the time I can't figure him out, the other half, everything he does makes so much sense it almost makes me sick.

He stayed quiet for a while. Just watching the sunset. When the street lights started to come on, I stood up and stretched. Pony looked at me "Do you think you'll ever stop loving her?" I looked at him kinda surprised at first, then sighed "No. Never. But...I do know...that I'll probably move on sometime. I just don't know when."

He nodded slowly "I have school tomorrow." he said simply "I'm going to sleep." he turned and headed inside. I sighed and followed him. I didn't have to go to work in the morning because of the burns.

I feel really dumb now. I've really just been moping around ever since she left. She cheated on me, I don't need to put up with her. She doesn't deserve it. She's done this to herself, and I'm never gonna forgive her. Tomorrow's another day. And I'm gonna get over her, through hell or high water.

I didn't have a lot of trouble getting to sleep. I'd been on some pain medication for the burns, and it made me drowsy. I didn't wake up until noon, to find the house empty.

I wasn't hungry, so I just drank some chocolate milk. The day went slow, and I was happy when Steve showed up since he got off work early after working my shift.

He sat down on the couch with a pepsi. "Hey buddy, how was your day?" he laughed. I smiled "Just peachy...Anything fun happen?" He was grinning from ear to ear "Someone was looking for you." I looked a him carefully "Who?"

He smirked, and just shrugged "I don't know...some chick." I got an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach "Who?" He shrugged "I don't know her. Looks upper class though. I couldn't tell if she was just middle class or a soc. Real cute though."

Soda smiled, kinda unsure "What are you talking about Steve? I don't know any socs, and barely any middle classers...Why would one be looking for me?"

Steve shrugged "I don't know, she just walked in and asked me where you were today." Soda sighed "How do I know you're not lying to get me to cheer up and forget about Sandy?"

Steve shrugged "Maybe that's exactly what I'm doing...why?" Soda smiled "Cause it might be working...Twobit was talking about a party at bucks tonight–" "Let's go." Steve finished for him smiling.

I smiled "Alright...Let's go." He grinned "Rock on, We'll leave around 8 alright?" I smiled "Sure. I'll talk to Darry first but I'm sure he'll let me go." Steve smirked "yea... he's been kinda worried about you, and being all depressed over that chick."

I sighed "Yea...I know...I just couldn't help it. I know Pony worries the most though. He's been kinda talking to me, trying to help...I hope he's alright with me leaving tonight..." Steve shrugged "Don't worry about him. He's gonna be glad you're getting out and having some fun."

I got Steve to go to the high school, and pick Ponyboy up. Who went straight to his room saying he had homework or something. Steve started rushing me around. Soon Darry showed up saying it would be alright, and we left.

It was actually lots of fun. There were a lot of greasers I knew. And a lot of girls I knew, and some I didn't know, but seemed to know me really well. And then a lot of girls that wanted to get to know me better if you know what I mean. But I wasn't ready for that yet, and just kinda turned them down.

Steve seemed annoyed with me cause I wouldn't give any of them a chance. I just shrugged him off, and headed home saying my arms were hurting me. He called me a liar, and watched me walk out. I didn't care at this moment. I just wanted to go home.

When I got there I headed to bed. Pony was curled up and shaking, I figured he was cold and threw another blanket over him and got ready for bed. But ten minutes later when he was still shaking I decided that maybe he just wasn't cold...I shook him lightly and tried to get him to wake up.

"Hey Pony, what's wrong?" "N-nothing...I'm just cold..." he said quietly. Something in his voice told me he wasn't just cold, but I let it slide and went to sleep wrapping my arm around him since he was 'cold.'

Hey Everyone! I'm back! I'm not sure about this story...It was really hard to get the first chapter written, but I think I know what I wanna do now, so we'll see how it goes! –Amber


	2. I want out of it!

**The Unshed Tears**

Chapter 2

**Over a Year After Sandie Left Soda, and the Deaths of Johnny and Dallas.**

**Soda POV**

I was sitting in the DX behind the counter. This is so boring. No one needed their cars fixed, so Steve just went home, leaving me with nothing to do, or anyone to talk to.

I haven't dated anyone since Sandie left me..I guess I'll be single for the rest of my life. Sometimes that thought scares me, and I let Steve talk to me into going to a party or something, but I always end up coming home feeling sad or depressed cause I can't bring myself to like any of the girls who talk to me.

I wonder what Ponyboy is doing. If Darry and him don't stop fighting I don't know what I'll do. I guess they didn't get the point when I ran off that night. I worry about Ponyboy. He's been hanging around with some weird guys lately.

I think they're from Brumely, but they've never hung around Tulsa like they do now. And Pony seems to be good friends with them now. It all started that night when Steve told me that girl was looking for me at the Dx. I think it was that time I got burned...

I wonder if there really was a girl..Steve seems to tell me there was. A month later he said she was looking for me again. But I really think he's just trying to cheer me up. He said she was blonde with bright blue eyes..I don't know anyone like that..especially a socy girl like that...

And why would she be looking for me? I've been around...she only seems to 'appear' when I'm not a work. So I doubt she's real. I sighed. A customer walked in. I felt my heart drop. It was a socy girl...and she had long blonde hair... and blue eyes... I shook my head. There's no way. It's just a coincidence.

She smiled "Hey, You're Sodapop Curtis right?" I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Yea, that's me." She smiled "Great, I've been kinda trying to find you...I hear you can fix a car up real good..is it true?" I smiled "Sure. I can fix cars." She smiled "Great...I've got a blue corvette I need fixed up. It doesn't work at all and I'll probably have it towed it. Money's not a problem, I just need it fixed."

I smiled "Well, we've got nothing to work on right now, so just bring her in and we'll see what we can do for it." She smiled "Great. It'll mean a lot to me if you can get it running again." I smiled "Sure." She paid for the gas she'd bought then left.

Great. She's real alright. And all she wanted was to give me more work. I sighed. Well...if it won't run at all...maybe I'll get some good money out of it. I wonder where Pony's at. He was suppose to stop by here around noon and it's one now.

I sighed, we weren't getting any real business, and the boss wasn't here today, so I just started to shut down the gas station. I was tired, and didn't feel like sitting up here. Besides, the guys that work the night shift can open it back up at 6 or whenever they get here.

I headed home. It was a long hot walk. I spotted Ponyboy talking to those guys again. It bugs me something awful...He seen me, and said something to them and walked over "Hey, heading home earlier ain't cha?" I shrugged "I got bored, and we ain't got no business."

He nodded "So, do you think Darry will care if I come home late tomorrow?" I sighed "Pony, you know he'll care...why? What are you wanting to do tomorrow night?" He just shrugged "Nothing, don't worry about it." We dropped it at that. We always leave it at that. It's not important he says. But it's important to me...I care about where he's been going...but when I try to get it out of him, he just gets upset and runs off.

That night was quiet. Darry had made spaghetti. We sat in silence for a while. Then Pony spoke up "Hey Dar, I was wonderin' if I could stay out late tomorrow night..." Darry sighed "Why?" Pony "cause...I want to?" Darry gave him a look "Where will you be, and what will you be doing, and with whom?"

Pony sighed "I'll be at the movies, watching a movie, with Freddy and company." Darry sighed "I don't like them boys...I don't trust em, and I don't see why you do. One of these days they're gonna rob you blind kid." Pony shot him a glare "What the fuck do you have against them? Have they ever done anything to you?" he snapped.

Darry glared back "Why are you talking like that? You have no reason to be cussin' right now, and I wont have it at the dinner table." Pony got up, letting his chair fall back onto the ground, and walked towards the door then stopped and looked back at Darry "Fuck you, I won't be back for a while, so don't wait up." he snapped, and walked out.

I stared at my plate. I hate it when they fight. Darry cursed under his breath and went back to his room to sulk or whatever he does. I sighed, losing my appetite. That seems to happen more and more. They fight at dinner, then I don't ever eat. I'll probable die from it.

I got up and cleaned the dishes before going to bed. I didn't sleep though. I just laid there and worried my butt off about Ponyboy. I swear that kid scares me more and more anymore. I wish he'd just cool it sometimes. And I really wish he'd stop running off like this.

Sometimes he doesn't even come home for a week. That's happened twice. Usually it's a night...Every once in a while he's gone for a couple days...It just depends on the fight and what it's about. He'll probably be gone all night for this one...maybe tomorrow just cause that was the fight.

**Pony POV**

I walked down the street, until I got to Jay's. I seen a couple of the guys, they were from Brumely, and I knew that was why Soda had such a problem with me hanging out with them. I don't blame him. I know I shouldn't be doing what I'm doing, but I need something to keep my mind off of Johnny and Dallas.

They smiled "We've got it." I nodded "All of it? I don't want my head blown off.." he smiled "Don't worry kid..it's all there.." I smiled and took the package, and headed out. I caught a ride with a couple of bummed out greasers over to a downtown section of Tulsa. It was ever worse then where we lived.

I walked up to a small shack and made sure it was the right address before knocking. A guy opened the door and frowned "Who are you?" I tried to keep a tuff look to me...you had to to keep their respect...I guess... "Jimmy sent me."

That was it...the 'code'. That's all I ever had to say. The guy let me in... he invited me to sit on the couch. I was a little uneasy, but I did. He kept chattering away about what he went through to get the money, which bothered me. "Listen pal, just give me the money and I'll give you the dope..come on, I've got better things to do." I snapped, getting annoyed.

He sighed "Alright...alright..." he reached into a drawn and I felt my blood run cold when I heard the click of a magazine being loaded into a gun. He pulled the black handgun into sight "Ok buddy..Just put the drugs on the coffee table and you can go."

I clenched my jaw. This is stupid. Jimmy'll kill me if I come back without the dough. Either get the gun off this doped up guy, or let Jimmy send his blood hounds after me. Either way, Darry'll flip and finish me off one way or the other, so I decided that if I could get the gun from the guy, I could get out of here with the dope and get out of all of this.

I stood up slowly, holdin my hands up to show I'd cooperate.. "Ok..Ok...I don't see what the gun's for..I'll listen.." He was edgy and I didn't blame him. "Just put the dope on the table!" he snapped. I walked towards him to get to the side table where he'd gotten the gun.

He cocked the bullet into place "What are you doing! Get back!" he yelled. I held my hands up higher "It's ok...ok..just calm down..I was just gonna lay the dope on this here side table so you can see it's all there.."

He thought for a second then sighed "Fine..just no funny stuff. Real slow movements got it?" I nodded and walked over carefully. He stood with the gun just inches away from the back of my head which made me kinda nervous. I slowly reached into my pocket, and pulled the dope out.

He watched carefully as I set it on the table. He grumbled "That ain't all of it." he snapped. I sighed hoping he wouldn't have noticed. "I know...I know...the rest is still in my pocket..I just couldn't get it all..." I slowly reached into my pocket again.. I felt the sweat trickle down the back of my neck...

He pushed the gun closer to my head to make sure I knew it was there, and believe me, I didn't need the reminder. "Hurry up!" He snapped, getting uneasy. "Calm down..I thought you wanted slow movements.." he didn't say anything and just pressed the gun against my head a little more. I sighed and pulled the rest of the dope out of my pocket...

I slowly laid it on the table "There we go..no harm done...There's your dope..don't fret..." He looked at it making sure it was all there...I took a deep breath seeing my chance and whipped my hand around, knocking the gun away the back of my head. There was a loud crack from the gun, I knew he'd pulled the trigger, and I was thankful I got the barrel away from my head at the right time.

He cursed as I snatched the gun, and quickly cocked the bullet shell out, letting another reload. I pointed the gun straight at his forehead. I could see my hands were shaking, but I was close enough it wouldn't have been a miss. He held his hands up, cussing me out the entire time.

I told him to sit down, and keep his hands raised straight in the air...after he did that I quickly shoved the dope back into my pocket, keeping the gun, and my eyes on him...he didn't move, and I hoped he thought he was beaten. I told him to keep cool and I'd leave without blowing his brains out and back out of the house..

Once I got to the street I made a run for it. Knowing he might have another gun sitting in there and might come after me. I ran quite a ways, and flagged down a couple of greasers from Tim Shepard's group. They gave me a ride back into Tulsa, and I was glad they knew not to ask why I was shook up, and carrying that gun.

They dropped me off around the Dingo where I was suppose to meet up with Jimmy after the deal was done. I walked in, and found him slouched in a booth, with a couple of his hoodlums around him. I pushed past them, and aimed the gun at his forehead. I was so mad at him right now, that I couldn't even remember why.

He stared at me cooly. Like he knew I wouldn't shoot. I probably wouldn't...if I wasn't this mad. I cocked a bullet into place and aimed it right at his forehead "I want out." He stared at me for a second then chuckled "Funny Curtis...But you can't get out, Where's my money?" I reached into my pocket and threw the dope onto the table "I'm out!" I shouted angrily.

He chuckled again, shaking his head "Calm down now...We don't need you slipping behind the trigger now do we?" I glared at him "You said I could get out of it. You said I could as soon as there was trouble, or I didn't feel safe.." He nodded slowly "Yea, so..What's the problem?"

I stared at him, only getting angrier "I JUST HAD THIS FUCKING GUN POINTED AT MY GOD DAMN HEAD YOU SON OF BITCH!" He shrugged "Thank god you're not dead...I would have lost a good deal of money...So how'd you get out?" I hit him across the face with the gun. He cussed, and stood up quickly, and I pointed the gun back at his head before his goons could beat the living tar outta me.

He narrowed his eyes "You are one gutsy son of a bitch, you know that?" I glared at him "I want out, and I want out now, before I have to tell the cops." He got real serious when I said that. Pfff...I hold a gun to his head, and he just laughs, I bring the cops into it he throws a fit. "You my friend, ain't tellin no body. Believe me..I've got connections. You know I do. So if I even see a cop drive by and look at me, I'll get your ass shot." he said hastily.

I felt a little shaky "So I'm out of this mess then?" He smirked "Sure kid...whatever you say. But don't come back looking for another job." I nodded slowly. He nodded to one of his buddies, and I looked just soon enough to see him coming at me. I ducked down and before I could tell myself not to, I fired the gun his way...

Everything after that went by quickly. There was a lot of noise. Yelling, Cussing, Screaming..and fighting..I punched Jimmy a couple times, but he was mad...real mad...I started to wonder if maybe I'd hit one of his precious goons.

He slugged me several times, and I could really react...He was sitting on my chest, and I couldn't hardly breath. But when he reared back to hit me again, I jerked my head around and bit onto his arm that was holding my shoulder down.

He yelled in pain and tried to jerk loose but I had a good grip on him. It wasn't until someone kicked me in the head that I fell off. I laid on the ground gasping. Then Jimmy picked me up by my collar, and shook me until I could focus on him. He looked real mad "You just shot my brother you son of bitch." he hissed...

I felt something inside me go cold, then sirens filled the air. Soon I felt him being jerked away from me, and I just collapsed onto the ground. A cop hung over me, shaking me a little bit. "Kid, stay up. I mean it.." I nodded tiredly "yea..yea...just...don't shoot." I said quietly and blacked out.

**Anyone's POV**

The policeman sighed "Hey Greg. This kid passed out..." Another man in a uniform looked up "Then tell the paramedics...does he look like he's been hurt?" He shrugged "I don't know..he's obviously been beaten."

A couple paramedics were loading a younger boy into the ambulance. Another kid was giving the cops problems "He's my brother! Let me go!" "Sir, You're under arrest.." "Shut up! I don't care! Throw me in jail for the rest of my life! I just want to make sure my brother's alright first!" Soon a couple of the policemen forced him into the car.

Several other boys were booked and shoved into the back of the cars. And taken to the station. But a kid with reddish blonde hair was still laying unconscious on the ground. Soon a paramedic walked up and felt his pulse, and looked him over "He doesn't seem to have any serious injuries, but his breathing is shallow and that gash across his cheekbone in bleedin' pretty good."

The cop sighed "So what do you want us to do with him?" The paramedic looked at him carefully "I think it's that kid from the fire in Windrixville..I'm not sure. But just in case take him to the hospital. I know his brother's would want him there, and won't want to pay an ambulance fee. So take him there and make sure he ain't got a concussion."

The cop sighed "This is a whole lotta trouble for me, just for some punk kid who made one good decision in his life.." The paramedic nodded slowly "Or...it's a whole lotta trouble for some kid who made one bad decision in his life...give him a break. It looks like he got the worse end of the deal." The cop looked at him "What about the kid who was shot?" The paramedic shrugged "Maybe that's a good thing. I wouldn't know. But I do know that sometimes a kid just needs a break alright? Get him up there, and the hospital will take over."


	3. It wasn't the first time

The Unshed Tears

Chapter 3

**Pony's POV**

Have you ever gotten that feeling..when you first wake up, that you don't want the people in the room to know you're awake? So you lay quiet, and still so they think you're still sleeping? I have. And it happened again when I woke up.

I could hear Darry's voice. He was arguing with Sodapop. I was scared to look at Darry...I knew he'd yell at me if he was just upset with Soda. So I pretended to be asleep. Which wasn't too difficult since I felt like I'd pass out again anyways.

Darry continued to argue with him "Soda, I'm not staying here any longer. I just wanted to make sure he was ok, and to talk to the police." he said angrily.

Soda sounded upset "So now you're just gonna leave em cause he got in a little bit of trouble?" Darry was quiet for a minute then said "I'm not leaving him...But I've got work in the morning, and I'm gonna need money for this hospital bill, and for bail when they throw him in jail."

"Jail?" Soda asked worriedly. "Yea...Jail. As soon as he's released from the hospital they're bookin' him." Darry said evenly. "B-but why? For what?" Soda asked. "Attempted murder. Dealing, and or selling drugs. Possession of drugs. Disturbing the peace. Anything they can blame him for they will!" he shouted.

Soda was quietly. I heard the door to the room slam. I felt like I'd swallowed a block of ice. There was this cold feeling in the pit of my stomach. I felt my body start to shake, and tried to suppress it. There was the sound of a chair being scooted closer to the bed. Then I felt someone put their hand on my arm. "Pony..What did you get into this time?" Soda said desperately.

I wanted to tell him I was sorry...and that I was just trying to get out of it...and that I'd never do something like this again, but I couldn't. My eyes felt heavy, and I couldn't seem to open them. Then I realized that it was pointless. I'd just be lying again. I mean...whatever happened to Staying gold? For johnny...I couldn't even stay out of trouble.

I blacked out again, and the next thing I remember was being in pain. I couldn't hardly breath, and when I opened my eyes, I seen a tube coming from my throat and several nurses and people standing around me. "He's awake!" Someone yelled, which sent throbbing pains through my head. I wish they'd give me some aspirin for this headache...

Somebody started talking to me, but I didn't understand what they meant, or what the were saying...I couldn't even see them. I just heard someone nagging in my ear. I finally got the energy to move my head, and seen it was Sodapop...

He looked at me worriedly "Hold on buddy...Just relax alright?" I wanted to ask him what was wrong with me, but the tube going down my throat made it difficult. They moved my head so it was straight up again, telling me that it would make it easier to breath. Then I noticed that the ceiling was moving...and that the people around me were moving. They must be taking me to another room.

I felt my eyelids get heavy, and blacked out again. The last thing I heard was Soda saying something about hanging on, and trying to stay awake. I tried to answer him, but it hurt too much, and it was difficult with the tube. I seen a bright light in the room that I'd been rolled into and that pretty much knocked me out.

**Soda POV**

He looked horribly pale when I first seen him. I was scared for him when Darry said he was going to jail. I wish he wouldn't get mad when he's scared like that. I don't know if Pony knows it...but he only yells when he's scared, or worried...

Pony wasn't looking good. He was hardly breathing...they'd said he was alright when I came in..just that he had a slight concussion. I don't see how they can be so sure...they said he hasn't woken up since he passed out at the scene.

I kinda watched him...and I seen his chest stopped moving up and down.. I got scared and went to find a nurse..It's my lucky day, apparently I was right and he wasn't breathing. She called in several other nurses, and soon they had a tube down his throat and was breathing for him with this little balloon thing. A doctor arrived, and he said I could come with him incase he woke up.

He woke up as they walked him down the hallways to the emergency ward on a stretcher. His eyes were red, and looked like he was in pain. I felt so scared, but tried to keep my cool and told him to just relax. I was so scared for him. He's probably oblivious to what's going on..He's the lucky one.

Soon they asked me to leave the emergency room since they'd given him some drugs, and I was glad for that. I was getting really scared listening to what they were saying. Things about surgery, and collapsed lungs, and broken ribs that might be in his lungs still..and I just got freaked out by it all.

I sat in a chair that was just a little ways down the hall. I shakily put my arms acrossed my chest, feeling unusually cold. I felt horrible, and the more I thought about it the more shook up I felt. A nurse noticed, and sat down by me "Hey there..are you alright?"

I shook my head "Y-yea...s-sure..." She put her hand on my back "Are you sure? You look awfully shook up.." I looked at her..she was young...had to be at least 18, 19 years old... "M-my brother just got taken to the emergency room... that's why...I'm fine.." I said quietly.

She started to rub my back, and I wondered why she'd bother to be so nice to me, then remembered it was probably her job. "Just because you have a reason to be shaken up, doesn't mean you're fine..How about you come into one of the room with me, and relax alright? You seem really shaken."

I shook my head "W-what if he needs me?" She smiled "I'll come get you..Alright?" I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say..I didn't want to leave him, but I felt sick I was shaking so bad. She stood up taking my hand "Come on, you need to...I'm a nurse, and it's my job to make sure you're alright." She pulled me up to my feet, and held onto my hand, walking me out of the emergency ward.

I seen some people glaring at me..like I shouldn't be following her around...maybe it was because she was still holding my hand. I told her to leave me alone..they can't pin this on me. She led me into one of the rooms with a bed, and told me to lay down.

I was a little uncomfortable, but did anyways. She told me to stay put and left. She came back a little bit later with a glass of water, and a small pill "Here," she said "It's an aspirin, it'll calm you down faster." I sighed and took the pill when she handed it to me.

I set up a little bit, leaning against the backboard of the bed. She shut the door, then walked back over to the bed "Are you sure you'll be alright? Do you want me to put a sign on the door so no one bothers you?" I nodded slowly, setting the glass down on the table. She sat down on the edge of the bed "You're Sodapop Curtis aren't you?"

I sighed, great, she knows who I am. "Yea." I said quietly. She smiled "I've always liked you..you know? Cause you're a good guy..I don't see why the socs give you all that crap." I nodded slowly "That's just the way they are..." I was getting uncomfortable...

She smiled at me, and pushed my hair out of my eyes "You don't deserve this...and neither does your cute little brother.." I sighed. Cute? Where is she getting off at? She's kinda creeping me out...

She kept talking about how it wasn't fair, and that I deserved more, and the next thing I knew she'd crawled on top of me and was kissing me. I was so dumbfounded I just kinda sat there..It'd been so long since I've even considered having a girlfriend..or even seeing a girl for a night. It just didn't appeal to me cause I'd been hurt so bad by Sandie. I think what made Sandie so bad, was that it wasn't the first time.

I finally snapped out of my confusion, and pushed her back "Do they pay you to do this?" She stared at me kinda shocked. I just shrugged "I mean..You said your job was to make sure I'm ok, but..do they really pay you to screw the patients?" She didn't like that. She got up in a fiery rage and stormed out of the room.

I guess I might have over done it, but she came onto me first. And to tell the truth, that's the last thing I want. Some love sick romantic who's stalked me through half their life to come around trying to make out with me while my brother is hurt in the emergency room. It's really a sick thought when you look at it that way.

I got up and left, still feeling shaken up, but a little better. I have to give her credit for one thing...she got my mind off of Ponyboy. But now I was back to worrying. Then it hit me, I hadn't told Darry...but the way he was acting last night...maybe I should wait until he's off work. That's only another hour and a half.

I paced around the hospital. Between the kitchen for water, the emergency ward hoping for some answers from the nurses who rushed in and out of his room, and the waiting room where I was too shaken to sit still for more then 5 minutes.

Soon a doctor found me in the waiting room "Mr. Curtis, might I have a word with you?" I nodded and got up following him to a small room. He put some x-rays in front of this little light machine. He started talking too quick and with too many big words for me to understand him.

All I know is a rib had been pressing down against his lung on the left side making it impossible to breath with it, and he's been going off of one lung for the past 12 hours, and that if they hadn't went into surgery and corrected it he would have died since the other lung had shut down.

I just nodded and signed a release form saying we wouldn't sue them for going into surgery without permission from his legal guardian. He said I could go see him, and directed me to his room. When I got there I seen him laying still and pale on the hospital bed.

I felt sick, and cold in the pit of my stomach. I thought about mom and dad...and wondered why I couldn't get the thought out of my mind that he could have died. I sat down next to his bed, and put a hand on his arm...he felt cold. It scared me.. I was getting shook again, so I started talking.

"H-hey buddy...what's going on?...how are you feeling man? ... You really got into some trouble..as soon as you're better they're taking you to jail. Why'd you shoot him kid? Why?" he sighed, not liking the thought.. "Listen...that kid's ok...but it was close..got him in the shoulder..and it was bleeding pretty good I heart. But he's alright. He's already been sent home..Maybe they'll let you off easy since you're a horrible shot."

I talked to him like that for a long time. Until I noticed Darry was off of work. I told pony I was gonna go call him, even though he was still asleep. I called Darry who seemed worried, and said he'd come down to check on him. I sighed, and hung up and soon he was there. He talked to the doctor, and soon everything had settled down again.

We sat in pony's room and talked for a while. Darry got mad again, and yelled at me. Saying I was wasting my time sitting around the hospital. And tried to convince me to just come home cause they'd take care of Ponyboy..but I couldn't bring myself to leave him there and Darry only got madder. Soon he got frustrated and left.

**Pony POV**

I heard Darry and Soda arguing again. This time I let myself wake up after Darry left. "Soda...what happened?" I asked weakly. I told him I remember the argument and shooting the kid...and he explained to me what happened to my ribs when they went into my lungs choking me.

"Soda...what did the cops say exactly." I asked once he'd finished telling me about the medical part. He got quiet and kinda stared at his feet "Well..Um...Since the kid's ok..they might go easy on you...You got him in the shoulder...so he's already went home. They're charging you with assault, attempted murder possibly, disturbing the peace, and about anything else they can think of. Along with possession of drugs, and dealing of drugs..."

Silence fell in the room. I didn't mind. I felt horrible for what I'd done. And I guess I deserved to go to jail. But I was so scared... "Pony...why'd you do it? Why'd you shook that kid? Huh? Why did you even have to get mixed up in dealing drugs huh?"

I sighed "Soda...I didn't mean to..I just kinda, started hanging around them..then I went with them one day on a delivery if you want to call it that...then one thing led to another and I was curious as to how I could get in on the money... then it went back, and only got worse, and now I'm going to jail."

Soda looked at me sadly "So...w-what were you dealing?" I shrugged "Mostly dope, marijuana...LSD... just anything really...even had some 12 year old kid who paid us to get cigarettes for him." Soda shook his head. I knew he was disappointed in me. I think that's what hurt the most. My brother's being disappointed.

"Did you do it?" he asked. I looked at him "What do you mean?" He sighed "Did you do any of the drugs?" I got quiet...not sure how to answer him... "Well?" He asked again... he sounded a little more upset. I hate to tell him this but... "yea...I did...some...not much. Just every once in a while he'd get some extra money and would treat us."

He sighed "I can't talk about this any more." I felt sick. Not because of the surgery or anything..but because of what I've done to my brothers. They've worried about me, and cared about me...and here I go, getting into a mess like this.

Now I'm gonna go to jail. Here I was worried about myself, and my brother's are either gonna sit at home worrying about me constantly, or they're gonna go home after they dump me off in the jail cell and tell themselves they've lost another family member.

It's times like these that I wish I'd died in the car with mom and dad...that I was drowned by the socs in the fountain...that I was burned and killed in the church, rather then Johnny...that I wasn't so lucky when that guy pointed the gun at me...and that Jimmy didn't kill me right then when I shot his brother.

Soda didn't like the silence. "Sorry Pony...but I need to get home and sleep. Will you be alright here by yourself?" I nodded "yea. I'll be fine." I remember what Darry was saying, and how he threw a fit when he wanted him to go home tonight. Soon Soda left. Going home to rest up.

I figured it was my fault. Talking about the drugs and stuff probably annoyed him, and now he wants to get away from me. Heck, I don't blame him. Everyone wants to get away from me. I hope Jimmy kills me in jail. It'll save me a lot of trouble...

I hope the social workers don't bother Darry about Soda because of this. It's a possibility. But Soda's old enough he can probably get out of it saying he'll support himself. He has a job...shoot. I don't deserve to stick around and make Darry work so hard for me.

It's not like I do anything for him. I just get into trouble. I'm gonna refuse to leave if he tries to bail me out. There's no way I'm making him spend that kind of money cause I screwed up again. Never. I rather rot in jail for letting them down, then let them go through hell to help me.


	4. Warfare in my Head

The Unshed Tears

Chapter 4

**Pony POV**

I couldn't sleep. I felt sick to my stomach. I told them not to allow any visitors the next day. That I was just too sick, and didn't want to see anyone. A nurse told me that Sodapop said he was sorry, and that he wasn't mad at me, but I still didn't want to see him.

It hurt to much to think about any of that. So I forced myself to sleep. I felt just all out sick for 3 days. And continued to deny visitors. On the 4th day I gave in and said they could come in. Only Soda came. He sat down sadly "Pony I'm really really sorry.."

I nodded tiredly "Don't worry about it. I've just been feeling crappy so I didn't want to be bothered." I lied through my teeth. He sighed "Alright...Darry's not mad you know..." He said out of the blue. I nodded "I know..he's just worried.." Soda smiled at me weakly "He really is.."

He stayed with me for a long time. We just talked. About random things. I guess the most hurtful thing we talked about was mom and dad. God I missed them...

We talked until I felt tired, and fell asleep. When I woke up Soda was gone. It was dark outside, and the clock in my room was broken, so I wasn't sure what time it was. I didn't feel tired, but I went back to sleep since I had nothing better to do.

**Soda POV**

When I went back home, Darry was waiting in the living room "So did he finally let you see him?" I nodded, and pulled my shoes off. "Yea, he did..." Darry stared across the room "He's an ungrateful little shit ain't he?"

I stared at Darry "How so?" Darry looked at me "We're working our tails off to try and keep up with the medical bill he's throwing at us and the little brat tells the nurses not to let any visitors come in?"

Soda shook his head "No...Darry...he just sad he's been feeling too sick to see anyone.." Darry stared across the room "You're a real sap you know that? You let Pony push you around into believe that crap just like you let Sandie. You've got to wake up and face the cold hard facts, people are out for themselves anymore Soda. They aren't just trying to make you feel good." he said angrily.

I stared at him quietly. I hated it when he brought this up...he looked up at me "Don't look at me like that. I mean it. You've got to get over it. I'm sick of you moping around every time someone says something about it!"

I went back to my room. I felt sick. Just...sick and tired really. Why does he have to hurt me like that? I loved her and she ripped my heart out...what else am I suppose to do? Of course I'm gonna miss her...Of course It'll hurt me every time they bring her up...Why doesn't he understand that?

I sat in my room trying to figure out what to do. I felt sick, and tired of just sitting here. I wanted out. I started to feel trapped and my heart felt heavy. I felt like something was pressing down on my chest making it hard to breath.

I shook my head, and got up. I grabbed my wallet, and jacket, and walked out. Darry didn't say anything to me. Probably just thinks I'm going somewhere to cry about Sandie. I hate it when he does this to me...He knows it hurts..and he thinks that hurting me is gonna help me get over it?

I sighed and walked down the road, I stopped at the corner drug store, and got a pack of cigarettes, and lit one up. I walked around until someone honked a horn making me jump. I smiled a little and got into the car with Steve.

We drove around for a while without saying anything. Then he asked me why I was out walking around. I told him I was just getting some fresh air, and was on my way to see Ponyboy, so he dropped me off at the hospital.

I headed up to Pony's room where a doctor and nurse were talking to him. The doctor turned and smiled when I walked in "Hello there, You're his brother right?" I smiled and shook his hand "Yep." He smiled "Alright, it looks like he's doing just fine now, so he can go home."

I was happy to hear that and we spent 30 minutes talking about do's and don't's for Pony. Then he said I could check him out and get him home. Only problem was I didn't have a car, and didn't want to call Darry. I sighed, and got a hold of Twobit, and he agreed to come get us.

I worried about Pony. He kept real quiet. He almost seemed scared. But I wasn't sure what he had to be afraid of. We waited in the waiting room for Two-bit. Soon he showed, up..looking a little wasted. I took the keys from him, and helped Pony into the car. I drove to our house, and helped him out, before giving Twobit his keys back.

I got Pony into the house. Darry had already went to bed. I was glad for that. I'd be easier to tell him Pony was home in the morning so he could ponder over it all day at work while Pony was still asleep. I hoped he'd still be asleep in the morning at least...since his medicine was suppose to make him drowsy, I didn't worry about it too much.

I made sure he'd fallen asleep before I thought about following him. I woke up constantly all night. I just couldn't relax. I kept thinking about her, and what she did to me, and what Darry had said. I bet everyone feels the same way. I just want to get over her, but I don't know how...

The next morning, while Pony was asleep I talked to Darry. He seemed uptight about having him home. "When will he be recovered?" I sighed "The doctor said he'll be fine in 2 weeks at the most." Darry sighed "Whatever. I'm going to work." I sighed, and nodded.

A little while later I woke Ponyboy up to take his medicine. He was tired, and said that he was feeling better..I kinda wished he wasn't. As soon as he was better we had to put him into police custody. Then he'd get sent to jail. For attempted man slaughter. I shiver at the thought.

The week passed by. He slowly got better. He didn't talk to Darry, and Darry didn't go out of his way to even look at him. He never talked to him, and I always had to go get him up for something to eat. It was like Darry had disowned him. And I know Pony felt it that way too.

Soon Pony was feeling better, but still got sick. He started throwing up and he'd look pale, but would never run a fever. Darry wouldn't say or do anything about it so I called the doctor who told me to bring him in for a check up.

He ran a few tests on Pony, and couldn't find anything wrong. But when he sat him down and talked to him it turned out that it was from anxiety and depression. He talked to him for a bit longer, even though I knew what was wrong with him. He was scared to go to jail.

Sure enough that's what the doctor figured out, and prescribed him a medicine to keep him calm. I was so worried about him. He'd been through a lot..That night I decided to sit down and talk to him, and figure out exactly what happened.

Pony was sitting in his room doodling. I walked in and sat down on the bed "Hey kid, how ya feeling?" He shrugged "Alright I guess." I nodded to myself. "So...um..ready to tell me what happened?" Pony was quiet for a minute. "I told you already."

I sighed. "Come on Pony. Now that you're better...you know, before you have to leave...I want you to tell me the story...the whole story. Now what happened? How did it come to this?"

**Pony POV**

I felt like crap, and didn't want to re-live this by telling him. But I guess I had to...since I might not see him again for some time.

"Well..I guess it started when Johnny and Dallas first died." I said quietly "Darry was being real hard on me, and I couldn't take it, so I met up with these guys from Brumely and we got to know each other real well, and one day they took me with them for 'business', and I seen what they were dealing in, and how much money they were making...so I guess I wanted in on it too."

"I Promised myself that if it got iffy, or dangerous I'd get out. And things went well for a long time. I always had money, and wasted it on stupid things...like booze, or more drugs to deal in...or some stupid prank I felt like pullin."

I sighed "Things went well...until..I went to give this guy his drugs, and get the money...just a little errand that Jimmy wanted me to run for him–he runs most of the drug deals–And the guy pulled a gun. I um, Got the guy away from him, and took the dope with me, and confronted Jimmy with it, telling him I wanted out, and he threw a fit..I pulled the gun on him, and then someone came at me, so I shot, and hit his brother, then they all came down on me, and the last thing I remember is Jimmy threatening to get me killed if his brother wasn't alright."

An uneasy silence filled the room.

Soda sighed "Well. His brother is fine. And I guess he's home now. So you don't have to worry about that." That was the last thing he said to me. No one talked to me for the next couple of days. Soon it was time for them to take me up to court. I was scared. Terrified really.

Darry came to court along with Soda. Twobit, and Steve were there also. I didn't think they cared though. They only came because I use to be a friend of theirs. Probably came for Soda. I bet he asked them to. I sat on the stand and explained what happened. Then listen to 5 other guys say the exact same thing only with me being more violent then I had.

I glanced up at Darry, and pure hatred seemed to be written all over his face. When I looked at him, he just shook his head, and looked away from me. He was ashamed. He hated me now. I looked at Soda who seemed upset. The judge called my name, and told me that I was guilty, and that I'd have a prosecution court tomorrow at 6.

Everyone stood up then, and the judge walked out. A security guard pulled my arms behind my back and put cuffs on my wrists. Darry only watched for a second before leaving. I seen Twobit and Steve shaking their heads. Soda stared at me hurt. Like I'd let him down.

I'd let everyone down. I stared at the floor...and walked ahead of the Guard as he led me out of the room. I spent the night in a jail cell. I guess I'll have to get use to it. There's no getting out of it now. I felt sick to my stomach though. All night the prisoners banged on the doors, and yelled.

I didn't sleep at all. And the next day I didn't eat the meals they gave me. I didn't like the looks of them. I decided I'd probably starve before I got out of prison.

They gave me my suit back, and sent me into court. Darry and Soda were there for the hearing. The Judge was tapping a pencil on the stand. I sighed. She soon spoke up "Mr. Curtis. I'm giving you a choice." I looked up at her confused.

She flipped through the papers. "You can go to prison for 5 years. Or go to fight in the Vietnam war for your country...for 2 years. The choice is yours." I was kinda dumbfounded that our country was dumb enough to let a bunch of ex-cons run around the jungles by themselves, but then again...they aren't in America, so it's not their problem. I sighed "I'll go to Vietnam."

It was a simple decision. I was terrified of Jail. So this way I didn't have to go to jail...but also, I never wanted to face Soda and Darry again. And this was just the thing to fix that. I'd go to war. And probably get killed. Then I die helping my country, for a good cause...yadda yadda yadda...

The judge made the ruling, and told me I'd be leaving tomorrow for a 4 week boot camp before being launched to Vietnam. Yippee.

As the guard walked me out I seen the shocked and confused looks on my brothers' faces. I didn't blame them. This was a stupid and suicidal choice. But that's just what I wanted. Heck, maybe if I did make it out alive I could come home and make up with them.

But for now. This is what I wanted. And they weren't gonna change my mind. I slept uneasy that night. I didn't know what to expect. I really had never talked to anyone about what war was like. And I'd only read a couple books about it. And they were that detailed.

The next day, they fed me, then shipped me off to some island boot camp. There was a lot of yelling. A lot of running. And a lot of weight training. And it was hot. They said it was worse in the jungle, especially with the weight and coverage of your uniform.

I was miserable. But I never thought this would be easy. At least the food was better then it was at the jail. Something about they wanted you to enjoy it now, cause you wouldn't get much in Nam. I didn't care. I'd enjoy it while I could.

They gave us fake guns, that weighed just as much as the real ones would, and marched us in circles till we were dizzy. Then they sent us through obstacle courses, and made us do stupid tasks that required teamwork.

I hated it here. But I have a feeling it's a lot better then Jail. In jail I would have had to see Jimmy. And Jimmy would want to fight me, because I hurt his brother. And because of Jimmy. I would lose my chance at parol.

**Soda POV**

Darry kept yelling. "WHY THE HELL DID HE GO TO VIETNAM?" he continued pacing the living room. I just sat there staring at the floor. I felt like I did whenever I threw that ball and broke the window. I remember how mad Dad was, and how upset mom was because she'd told me not to play with the ball in the house.

Darry "Sodapop!" His voice rang through my ears. "Sorry Dar.." I answered sheepishly, not hearing what he had said. "Why did he go to Vietnam? How stupid does he have to be? Huh? Surely he's smarter then this! Does he want to die?"

I stared across the room "Maybe he does. You don't make it easier on him by always yelling, and arguing with him." He glared at me "So you're saying this is my fault!"

I sighed "No. I'm saying that you didn't make it any easier on him. Maybe he just thought it'd be better then going to jail." Darry paced around for another hour, before he finally got fed up and went to bed.

I didn't sleep at all. I couldn't. I was worried about Pony. I couldn't wait till he came home. I was terrified for him, and I prayed that he would make it home. You hear on the news everyday about more and more casualties. And you really don't care until someone you know or love goes down there. I prayed all night and didn't fall asleep until I practically passed out on the couch.


	5. The Letter

Then Unshed Tears

Chapter 5

**Soda POV**

The week drug on slowly. I worried about Ponyboy, and hoped that they would allow him to write us, and let us know how he was doing. Darry worried too. I know he did. He's always walking around nervous about something, and keeps calling him in for breakfast like he's still here.

Things seem awkward between us now. Like, he thinks I blame him, and somehow...I kinda do. I don't blame him completely though. Cause Pony asked for it. He's the one who got caught in a drug wrap.

Things were awkward. To say the least. I tried to ignore it. Ignore that Pony was gone. Ignore that Twobit and Steve didn't hang around as much. Ignore that Darry hardly ever spoke to me. Ignore the aching feeling I got in the pit of my stomach when I knew there was a good change he'd be killed.

And yet I ignored all of it. All the feelings I had, screaming to be let out. The pain I endured. The thoughts that passed my mind sometimes that made me sick. The ones that would make my parents cry, and Darry feel depressed. The thoughts that would send me over the edge.

I shook it all off. I worked a lot more now. It was a meaningless task that kept my attention away from..things. I can't bring myself to date. Not knowing that Pony stuck out there. God, I want to just forget about him.

I was sitting behind the counter at the Dx Station. Pony had been gone for two months now. I had finally talked myself into not thinking about him. I was flipping through a car magazine when a few girls walked in. They were giggling, and talking, just like they always were.

Sometimes...in a non-gay fashion...I wish I were a girl. It seems like all they have to worry about is getting pregnant, and when their period is. It makes me sick really. Sure...we can go sleeping around without any worries..but...things are harder for us to ...express?

We keep these feeling bottled up, and I really think it kills us. I feel like I'm dying. I really do. That's why sometimes I wonder if it wouldn't be easier.

So the chicks got their usual cokes, and paid for their gas. No biggy. I've been so focused on work it seems like I've memorized the price of everything in this stupid store. Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't go work at the supermarket or something, and try to memorize everything there.

I sighed. Work was slow today. I wondered about Ponyboy. What he was doing right now. Where he was. Maybe he was still sitting safe in the boot camp. I could only hope that was it.

I sighed, and went into the garage. Steve was working on a car. He'd checked on me often lately. Wanting to talk. I didn't want to talk. He said I needed to talk about it, and not just sit dead, letting it eat me up. But I didn't want to talk...I couldn't talk. It really ticked me off when he pressed me to far about it.

I'd snapped at him one day. He's been laying off now. I kinda felt bad, cause he stopped talking to me. All we ever talked about now, were simple things, like how's life treating you, I hear it's suppose to rain tomorrow, How about them Cowboys, Kinda talk.

He was working on a car. I absently handed him tools. A chick walked in with Steve's girlfriend. I couldn't even think of her name. I think Darry yelled at me yesterday about being out of it. Apparently I am. I'm trying to snap out of it though...It's just...hard...I miss him so much. I hope he makes it home...

**Pony POV**

I was laying in my bunk, trying to sleep, when sarge ran through the cabin blowing on some whistle, and yelling at us about being drafted.

At the time I was too tired to realize what was going on. But now that I'm sitting here in the back of this cold jeep, being driven off the side of the earth, it's all kinda clicking that I'm going to War. I might actually have to fight. And I might actually have to die. I might. And there's no avoiding it.

I sighed, there was no avoiding it. I figured I could put off volunteering, and only go when I have to. It can't be all that bad. You hear from people everyday about going through all the camp and preparation, then never fighting.

It was two days driving, then one day hiking through the Jungle. And I found myself in my first battle. They just told me to shoot anyone who wasn't on our side. So that's what I did.

They had us posted in the trees, in bushes, on ledges. Anything. And we were covered in camouflage. And then we waited until they came through. And shot. And shot. And shot.

It was sickening. The screams you'd hear. And watching the bodies fall dead. No movie could do this justice. You can have your best actors, your best special effects, and it's nothing compared to this. Nothing.

**Darry POV**

I don't think Soda knows it. But I blame myself. And I can't help but cry every night. I think about my baby brother being out there. In that mess. More and more kids dying every day. And I wait.

I wait and wait for that phone to ring. To tell me he was next. He's dead. Gone. I feel responsible for it. For Killing My Brother. I'm still waiting for it. For the phone call. I pray it never comes.

I take it out on Soda. I don't mean to. I don't want to. I don't try to. And I try to stop myself. But I can't seem to stop. I take it out on him no matter what I try and do. There's no stopping it. He's always gonna get caught in the middle of everything.

I hate seeing him a wreck. I'd pay anything to see him cheerful again. To see that grin that we all know and love. That one smile that made everything ok. But that's gone. I don't think he even remembers how to smile. I haven't seen it.

I haven't smiled in a long time. Too long. I wonder what it'd feel like. I tried to smile to myself the other day at the thought of one of Pony's first birthdays...but I couldn't. It just made me sadder. Just made me want to cry.

Or curl up and die. Something to that effect. Just disappear. Never be seen again. Never breath again. Never hurt them again. Never feel hurt again.

I wish I could...stop...Stop breathing. Stop...hurting. Stop hurting Soda. I feel like I'm torturing a caged animal when I'm around him.

Like it's a strain just to get him to talk to me. I work. I work a lot. I work too much. I work until I hurt, and then I'm forced to work more. Working, and Pain...physical Pain...takes away some of the mental Pain.

I'd leave. Go away forever. Rot in a ditch. But I've got to take care of Soda. And be here if Pony get's out of this alive. You can't leave Soda alone. No. He wonders. He zones out and wonders. I seen him walking in circles around our block one day. He was lost. I'd lost him. He was gone. I tried to get him inside, but he told me he'd lost something. And was looking for it. Then came inside later to tell me he forgot what he'd lost.

**Soda POV**

I was getting ready for work. Darry was making eggs. There was that awkward silence that was there before. So quiet...we never talk. I feel...distant...from everyone...

I really just...need something to pull me back. And I got that. Today. I came home and picked up the mail, and found a letter from Pony. I ran into the house jumping up and down "It's from Pony! It's a Letter! He's still ok!" I yelled, running around.

Twobit who'd come over to check up on us, grinned from ear to ear, and tackled me "Come on! Read it!" Steve had come in behind me, saying the same.

_Dear Sodapop and Darry,_

_I know I just kinda took off. And didn't explain things to_

_you fully. And I'm sorry for that. I spent most of this time_

_in boot camp. It's nothing like the movies. They take this_

_seriously, and it scares me. They teach you to shoot with_

_deadly accuracy. That scares me too. But not as much as_

_finding out that I was going to fight. They came in one _

_night and threw a ruckus. I was out of it then. It wasn't_

_until I found myself on a Jeep being shipped into the _

_Jungle that I realized that this was really happening._

_I tried to keep myself sane? No...not sane. I'm still sane. _

_I wanted to stay..innocent in a way. I never volunteered._

_I feel sorry for the people who did. Thinking they were _

_Helping their country. They're fools. Idiots even. I've never_

_thought to thank them. And I know no body else does. _

_I'm sorry if I'm wasting your time with this long letter. _

_But I need to write this down. I have to tell you. You have_

_to know. I came to War in hopes of..well...killing myself. _

_Not that I want to die. But I had it in my mind I was hurting_

_You guys. I hope you've moved on well without me. It's not_

_Your fault. Not at all. So don't think it is. It would have happened._

_One way or the other, I really feel this would have come. And_

_I hope you know, that, I love you both. And I'm sorry for leaving._

_I watched a man burn a house. With a man, woman, and child inside. _

_The man managed to get the woman and child out. The soldier watched. _

_Then he shot them. Letting the man who'd just saved his family watch. _

_I pray I will never become that cold. It's sickens me to be here. _

_I can't explain, or describe what it's really like here. _

_Movies do it no justice. Books do it no justice, and I can do it none. _

_But I love you. And I try not to shoot too many people. _

_Only those that I must to keep myself alive. And that's all _

_I really want to do. I want to come home. I hate it here. _

_I love you guys, and I need to get going. _

_-Ponyboy Michael Curtis_

I was..speechless. Darry walked into the house, and seen us all staring at this piece of paper, and took it from me. We just sat there and watched him read it. He got this shocked expression on his face when he first seen who it was from...then he got sad..and was in tears before he was finished.

He went back to his room, leaving the letter on the coffee table. Superman was crying. Darrel- show no emotion- Curtis was crying. And just cried in front of us.

I got up and walked back to his room. He was laying in his bed, his face in the pillow crying. I walked in, and sat down next to him. Everything making sense. Why we'd been in silence. Why he was so hard on me. Why he worked so hard. Why I worked so hard. Why Two bit and Steve kept checking in on us. It all made sense.

I sat down next to him, and put my hand on his back "Easy Dare. He's alright...He's alright..." I said softly, and I comforted him for a while. Just sitting there. I had heard Steve and Two bit come in and check on us before leaving.

I was glad they were gone. Darry and me needed to think. To talk. To relax. To cry. To get over every bit of hell we'd went through in the past few weeks. And we had each other. And we were gonna fight and pray that soon we could have Ponyboy back.

I rubbed his back for a while. Until he calmed down. Then he set up. And apologized. For everything he'd said and done to me. And he named it. I couldn't think of anything else for him to be sorry for after he'd said it. I think he's been beating himself up over all of this for too long. And I plan on making him feel better.

Although all I can do, is sit here. And tell him I'm not going any where. That I wasn't gonna leave him like Pony did. And reassure him that Pony was coming home. I felt like things were really going to fix themselves. Things were really gonna get better this time.

Disclosure: I'd like to mention that I got my idea for sending Pony to Vietnam this way from Tensleep. Thank you.


	6. JimBo

The Unshed Tears

Chapter 6

**Soda POV**

I'm at work now. After getting the letter from Pony yesterday...then Darry and me talking all night...I'm feeling really good.

I'm working the cash register today. Steve kept coming in to check on me. Before I ignored him, but today I tried to convince him I was ok now.

He didn't take me seriously, but I guess that's my own fault. Some girls walked in and I realized one was Evie. She said something to her friend who had this light brown hair that was really shiny and pretty, and shy looking. I couldn't help but notice her dark brown eyes... Something about her really got my attention.

I caught myself staring at her, and shook my head. Steve walked out and talked to Evie. The girl walked over to the counter with a coke, and started rummaging through her purse for something, then I realized she wanted to buy it.

I kinda snapped out of my trance and rang it up "Seventy five Cents.." I told her. She smiled at me softly "Sorry, this thing is a mess." I smiled, getting a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. It felt like my chest was full of air and just kinda...fluttery? God...I wish I could remember what this feeling was...

The girl pulled a little coin purse out, and dug out some quarters. She tipped me a quarter "Keep that, for the wait. Sorry.." she smiled shyly, and picked up the coke, going back over to Evie.

Steve pulled Evie over to the counter to talk to me, and the girl followed. I couldn't help but smiled at her. She noticed and blushed, kinda standing back off behind the other two. Steve whistled at me, "Hey, Hello...Earth to Soda...Stop flirting with Amy long enough to listen.."

I snapped out of it "Huh, what?" I felt me ears get hot when the two laughed "I was wondering if you wanted to come with Me and Evie to a Party tomorrow night...We can drag Amy along too so you won't be so lonely..." he teased.

I couldn't help but smiled "I'll go if she goes.." I said looking at her. She was blushing horribly, and I kinda felt bad for putting her on the spot, but I really liked her. And I really liked the shocked expression on Steve's face. I guess I've been kinda out of it for quite a while...

Steve looked at the girl hopefully, and Evie nudged her. The girl sighed "Alright.." she said shyly. I smiled "So...You're name is Amy?" I asked. She blushed even more "Yea..and You're Sodapop right?" I grinned something that I hadn't done in a long time. It even felt weird. "Yea."

I couldn't help but get this fleeting feeling when I looked at her. I couldn't figure out what it was. And seeing her blush like that, with that cute little shy smile... I don't know what wrong. I feel like I just wanna..I don't know...Jump over the counter and save her from something.

It was like my heart was racing, and my breathing was getting quicker, but it wasn't. Steve had been talking to me. About the party, and how he was glad I'm going. And then he startled laughing at something he'd said that made Amy blush even more, and kinda walk off.

I shook out of my thoughts and looked at him "What? What'd you say?" Steve and Evie laughed. I felt my ears get hot "hey...come on... Quit messin' with me. Steve laughed "It's hard not to when you keep zoning out like that."

I shook my head "I can't help it...I'm just a little out of it." Steve grinned "You weren't out of it until Amy came." I felt my whole neck get hot...Jesus I was embarrassed. And Steve and Evie had no problem with laughing at me and making it worse. And Poor Amy was so red faced she looked like she'd cry.

I bit my lip "You guys are jerks.." I tossed the register keys at Steve "You can work up here, I'm going outside to watch the pumps.." Steve gave me a 'I was just kidding around, And I don't want to watch the register' kinda sigh.

I ignored him and went outside. They'd embarrassed me enough today. I sat down on a lawn chair that was set up in front of the gas station. I sighed, and watched people drive by. I wish someone would pull in so I'd have something to do.

I heard the bell ring as someone came outside. I was in no mood for more of their taunting. "Mind if I stay out here with you?" a soft voice asked. I looked up and smiled at Amy "No, not at all." She smiled, and carefully sat down on a plastic chair by my lawn chair.

I smiled "So, they started gettin on your nerves, too?" She smiled "Yea, just a little bit." I yawned. It had been a slow morning and it wasn't getting much quicker. But that didn't really bother me too much right now.

"So, did you really wanna go to that party, or did they just put you on the spot?" I asked curiously... She kinda bit her lip, she was real cute when she did that, and then smiled "No...I hate drinking parties..." I nodded "Oh, I see...well..you don't have to go–" she kinda cut me off "But...I would like to go with you." she blushed.

I smiled, getting that weird feeling in my stomach again. "Alrightie then. We'll go." I smiled. She blushed even more. But I just think it makes her look cute. What's going on...why is she so...attractive?

She smiled, and watched cars drive by. We talked casually for a little bit. She was adorable. I wish I could place this feeling. I just..I can't remember. I feel like I've been drained of all emotion for over a year. So this was weird, and new to me.

She was quiet for a while. Then a wasp flew down around us. I ignored it. I knew there was a nest up in the rafters somewhere, and they didn't really bother me, but Amy gasped, and ducked "Oh god.." she said quietly.

I guess the wasp was stupid or curious, and tried to land on her. She shrieked, and jumped into my lap "Get it off!" I chuckled softly, and wrapped my arms around her. The wasp had already flown off. "It's gone...calm down."

She was bright red, and probably felt stupid. "I hate wasps...and bees...anything with a stinger...I got stung a lot when I was little..." I nodded. I'd been stung before. It wasn't fun.

We both turned bright red when Steve and Evie walked out "Well well well..what do we have here?" Steve asked. I knew it didn't look good. The way she was sprawled across my lap, and my arms around her...

She cleared her throat softly, and then I kinda snapped out of the embarrassment, and let go of her, letting her get up. She straightened her skirt out... "I um...got scared of a wasp..and kinda...dodged it.." she explained.

Evie laughed and grabbed her arm "Come on Doll, time to get you home to your brother." Amy, who was still blushing, smiled at me "Bye Soda...Bye Steve..." She said over her shoulder as Evie pulled her over to her car...

Steve teased me all day. But not too harsh, since I guess he was happy I'd snapped out of it. It took me sitting through an entire day of him teasing me, for me to realize that when I was feeling was a crush...And what's worse is I couldn't get her out of my head.

This was driving me insane. And I couldn't wait until the party. I knew I'd need to find some of my cleanest Jeans...and maybe even buy some new t-shirts, since all the other ones had grease, and oil stains on them...

I feel silly for flipping out over this girl, but for once I really feel like I need her. I want her so bad. I want to see her. I can't get her out of my head. I thought about her all day, and I kinda liked Steve's teasing, because he was right. I did like her. I liked her a lot...

That night when I got home from work, I checked the mail again. I was kinda half disappointed when I didn't find a letter from Pony, but we'd just gotten the first one yesterday, so I shook it off.

I told Darry about going out with Steve tomorrow. And he agreed, I didn't think he'd have a problem with it, but you never know with him. I scrounged up some money, and went shopping. I found some nice looking jeans in a thrift store for pretty cheap, and then bought some new white shirts.

When I got home, it was getting pretty late, so I went ahead and went to bed. I couldn't get her out of my head, and that made it hard to sleep. I kept getting this warm feeling in the pit of my stomach. I really liked her. I really did...

The next morning, I got dressed, and took extra care in greasing my hair up real nice. And put on one of the newer white shirts under my dx shirt. I put on some clean jeans, and headed to work after a quick breakfast. I was so excited about tonight...I can't wait...

Steve knew it to. He pestered me all day about it. And teased me. But I really didn't mind. It's not like it wasn't true. Yea, I was excited. Yea, It was because of Amy. And I think he was just as excited because I'd come out of that trance that I'd been in for a long time.

I kinda thought about it..and it had been 2 years since Sandie ditched me. Which kinda shocked me. I got this warm feeling again when I thought about being with Amy...maybe even dating...or maybe she could steady...

I shook that thought. I didn't want to get my hopes up. Or to rush into things. Especially since she seemed so shy. But that's alright. I've been out of it for a while...so I'll just chill out, and see what happens.

I was working the gas pumps, and Steve was suppose to be working on a car, but kinda gave up for today cause it was irritating him. A car pulled up for gas, and I hopped up, going over to it.

The chick rolled down the window "Fill it up, and clean the windshield." I rolled my eyes, seeing it was Evie. She laughed "Come on Lover boy, Amy's in the backseat, maybe you can coax her out.." she laughed, tossing me the keys "Move it when you're done. I'm gonna pester Steve."

I smiled, and started to fill up the car, then washed the windshield. Sure enough Amy was content with staying in the car...Once I was finished, and slipped into the drivers seat, and looked in the rearview mirror "Why don't you sit in the front seat?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow...Something I'd learned from Two bit over the years.

She smiled softly "She smokes. And I don't like the smell of it. It's not as bad back here.." I smiled "Yea, you're right about that." I started the car up and moved it over to a parking space "Come on inside, I'll get ya a coke." I offered.

She shook her head "I don't have any money with me.." I smiled "It's on me, come on inside. It's too hot to stay out here in this car." I opened the back door, and held a hand out to her, to help her up. She smiled softly, and took his hand..

He helped her out, and made a point not to let go of her hand as he shut the door for her and walked her inside. She was blushing, and of course Steve and Evie made faces at them. Steve just grinned and shook his head as Soda drug the girl inside. And got her a coke.

Soda talked to her, just about general things. Asked her about her brother..her family. Talked about his family. Talked about things going on. Talked about Steve, talked about Evie. Talked about tonight's party. Just simply things. She smiled, and relaxed as the afternoon went on.

He was sad when Evie told her it was time to go, but just sighed, and told her he'd seen her that night. She smiled and followed Evie out to the car. Soda grinned, making it a point not to mention that he still had their keys. And of course, Evie–who had been trying to hook him up with one of her friends for a long time now– sent Amy in to get them.

Amy smiled "Soda...she needs her keys.." Soda looked at her confused "What keys?" She sighed "Come on, I know you have them..." he took them out of his pockets, and held it out of her reach "These keys?" She smiled "Yea, come on...give them here."

He smiled "Take them." she reached up for them, and he pulled them higher. She growled "Come on..." He grinned "Just take them..." he held them lower.. She reached for them again, but just as she grabbed them he let go of the keys and started tickling her...

Soon they both ended up on the floor. Soda had straddled her waist and was tickling her. She was laughing so hard tears were rolling down her face, and she was begging him to stop...Soda was laughing too. And stopped for a minute, letting her catch her breath.

They hadn't heard the bell ring as the front door was opened, or the guy walk over and stand over them. Amy looked up and bit her lip "uh-oh..." Soda glanced up and seen a tough looking hood...who looked strangely familiar...

Amy giggled sarcastically "Hey, Jim-bo...how's your day going?" The guy sneered. "Just fine till I walked in to see some creep straddling my baby sister..."

Soda realized who it was... "oh shit.." he mumbled, and got up...Helping her up. She straightened her skirt down. The guy grabbed her arm and shoved her towards the door where Evie had come inside "Get in the car." he snapped.

Amy bit her lip "Jim, come on, Let's just go...We were just goofing off...it wasn't nothing." He glared at her "Sure didn't look like nothing, go to the car!" he snapped. Amy put her hands on her hips. I slapped myself mentally for thinking about how cute she looked when she did that...I was in enough trouble.

Amy "He was just ticklin' me, cause I came in to get Evie's keys.." she held the keys up "Now come on, or I'll drink tonight at that party!" she threatened. Hmm...this seemed to get his attention "Maybe you won't go to the party." he hissed.

She rolled her eyes "Like You'll stop me." she tossed the keys to Evie, and stalked out of the store. I couldn't help but watch her. The guy, Jim her brother I guess, turned to me "Put your eyes back in your head before I beat em in."

I turned my attention to him. He threatened me pretty good. Then stalked out. Steve started laughing at me. "Oh my god Soda! I thought you were dead!" I cocked an eyebrow. "How Come?" He laughed "That's the thug that beat the shit outta Tim Shepard last weekend for messin with his sister! And I just mean putting his arm around her!" I sighed heavily. Hopefully he wouldn't show up at tonight party.

**Pony POV**

I've gotten use to the extreme heat. And you get use to the bad food. And the water here isn't exactly sanitary. But it's better than nothing. And I don't mind the killing now. I block it all out. I've turned the fighting into a black and white movie without sound.

It's like making myself go deaf. It's not so bad anymore. I'm scared to think that I've gotten use to the killing. Gotten use to killing people. Gotten use to...to the murder...and the fighting. I hate it still. I can't get over it.

I sighed and continued marching through the jungle. I was in the back up troop as another larger troop cleared out a village. I was glad I didn't have to be apart of that. I'd kill any soldier you want. But when they go on village raids, and kill entire families...I can't take that.

Soon we got back to camp, and they let us rest for the night. I didn't sleep to well. I never sleep well. I have dreams. I woke up screaming, and one of the men almost shot me. He said I'd get us killed if I ever did that again. And I guess that scared me pretty good cause I've never woken up screaming.

Scared yes. Lots of time. All the time. Almost never a time I didn't. But I never screamed. And I never told anyone about the dreams. I'd heard about people going insane out here. But I didn't care.

I've been kinda writing another letter to Soda and Darry. It's hard though. We're always moving, or sleeping. I try to find time. But you can't exactly sit down and write, and people not read over your shoulder. Nosey people. Who wanna know who you're missing, so they don't feel so bad about what they're missing.

I don't mind telling them why I got stuck here. It was a stupid mistake that I plan to learn from. I hope I make it out alive. And I'd pray, but I'm not sure how...and I don't feel right about asking God for something, when I couldn't even find time to go to church.

Some guy tried to explain to me that it didn't matter if you went or not, or how you prayed, but I didn't help. I figure if I feel trapped or like I need it I'll know how, or when to pray. I don't know...I just hope Soda and Darry are doing alright. I hope that they don't mind me sending letters either... I miss them so much.


	7. First Date

The Unshed Tears

Chapter 7

**Soda POV**

I was so excited. I took another shower when I got home, and greased up my hair, being extra careful...then put on my new clothes...and cleaned up my shoes a little before putting them on. I found my nicest Flannel shirt, and put it on, rolling up the sleeves.

I looked at myself in the mirror and smiled. I didn't look half bad. I'd shaved that morning...so I was good to go. I brushed my teeth for the third time...and soon Steve showed up. "Hurry up lover boy, we've gotten pick them girls up."

I grinned, and threw an arm around his neck, then messed up his hair before running outside...He cursed at me, and ran after me, but soon gave up and just got into the car since we were in a 'hurry'.

We picked up Evie first. She was in a short skirt that made Steve grinned, and a low cut top that did her no justice. I sighed, hoping that Amy wasn't like that... Evie started talking...saying that she'd helped Amy pick out what to wear, and all that stuff.

I was kinda worried about what she'd be wearing..especially since Evie picked it out. I sighed, when we pulled into the drive way. "Go get her Soda. I think her brother wanted to talk to who ever was taking her." I sighed, and got out, going up and knocking on her door.

**Pony POV**

There was a deafening explosion not ten feet from me. I felt the pressure throw me to the ground. I couldn't hear anything and it scared me. To go from hearing the whistling of bombs above you, and the explosions, and gun fire...to nothing.

It scared me. I scrambled to my feet, and ducked behind a tree, firing at anyone who got too close. Then I moved out again. Another explosion went off nearby, and seemed to knock the senses back into me, and I could hear again. That was even creepier.

There was lots of yelling, and lots of noise. You couldn't hear the officers barking orders. It was chaos. To the point you just wanted out alive. And that's what I wanted. I was killing anyone who didn't look like he was from USA.

I felt a sharp pain in my arm and turned around quickly shooting. A man fell from a few feet back, and I didn't get a chance to see what side he was on...sometimes people make the mistake of catching one of their own men, and end up dying over it. I've seen it happen.

I came up on one of our Army Tanks, and ran. If you get to close they'll either loose sight of you, and run right over the top of you, or you'll get blasted away by the other side who's trying to stop the tank.

**Soda POV**

Jim sat in a beat up recliner glaring at me. I was sitting on a beat up couch right across from him, waiting for Amy. And I thought talking to the dads was bad...

Jim didn't take his eyes off me. It was like he was trying to judge me and know everything about me just by looking at me. I was getting a little creeped out, and I jumped when he started talking.

"Keep your pants on around her." he said quite bluntly. "Don't touch her. Don't provoke her. I'd done a lot of work to make sure she stays a virgin. And I want to keep it that way. So hands off." I was a little uncomfortable.

"And if you think you're gonna get her drunk, I would forget it." he started again. "She hates it. Absolutely hates it. I barely get by with drinkin' anymore. It's quite annoying." I just nodded, I wasn't planning on pissing this guy off. He was a lot bigger then me...and I really didn't want to get killed.

He continued telling me a bunch of don't's. I listened throughly...and nodded every once in a while, but all of that jumped out of my mind when I seen Amy come downstairs, hurriedly...

She was gorgeous. She was wearing a black skirt that came down just long enough so that it wasn't too slutty... And a V cut blouse that was a dark brown...I smiled, and felt warm inside again..and almost...excited. Jim checked her over "I guess that'll work.."

She smiled and picked up her purse. Slipping on some little brown Sandals. She was blushing "Sorry, I'm running late. Jim wouldn't let me get ready..." she shot him a look "And thought I needed a lecture.." I smiled "It's just fine."

Jim glared "Get your eye in your head." he snapped. I pried my eyes away from her. She was blushing at his comment. Jim sighed "You know the rules Amy. Keep it level. No funny stuff...be home before midnight." I smiled, and led her out to the car as soon as he stopped his warnings...

I opened the door for her. And then got in on the other side. Steve made some comment about leaving without them cause he thought Jim had killed me already... But I didn't really hear that...I couldn't take my eyes off Amy.

I reached across her, and pulled her seatbelt over her, clicking it into place. She looked at me kinda confused "Why'd you do that? It's a short drive." I just smiled "Cause if we do get in a wreck, I wouldn't want a pretty little thing like you gettin' hurt."

She blushed "Thanks." I smiled, and put my arm around the back of the seat. She smiled, and relaxed a bit. Once we got to bucks, I opened the door for her, and helped her out, while Steve walked off, leaving Evie to catch up. I smiled, shaking my head. He's lucky she was like that. Or he'd never get a girl.

I walked with Amy inside, and we found a seat up at the bar. I asked for a coke, and offered her something to drink, and she turned it down. I smiled at her. I couldn't help it. She was just so beautiful.

She blushed a little "So...um... Are you with someone?" she asked. I smiled "Nope. I'm assuming you're not? Judging by your brother's warnings..." She smiled, nodding "Yea..well...he doesn't like me hanging around guys. I've only had one boyfriend thanks to him.." she admitted quietly.

I smiled "I haven't had a girlfriend in over two years after one girl cheated on me, and got pregnant.." She looked at me carefully "That's sad...why would anyone cheat on you?" she asked. I shrugged "I guess I just wasn't worth her time."

She sighed "I get tired of Jim chasing off guys. I bet he wouldn't really hurt them, if I cared about them..." I bit my lip, then smiled "So uh...Do you care about me?" She got bright red.. "Yea...I do.." she said quietly

I smiled, and put my arm around her "Good...cause...I care about you." She blushed even more..I felt her get a little tense, and stood up, "Come on, wanna dance?"

She blushed, but smiled anyways "Sure..but I'm not that good..." I smiled "Non-sense." I grabbed her hand, and jerked her up out of her seat, so that she was face to face with me, relatively close to me. I smiled, and she turned bright red, but didn't move at first.

"You're beautiful." I said quietly. She blushed, and pulled away "Are we going to dance?" she asked. I smiled softly, and pulled her to the 'dance floor' where people were dancing and having a good time.

I smiled, holding her hands, and started dancing...It took a little bit...but soon she loosened up and had some fun.. I smiled, and soon a slower song came on... I wasn't about to wait for things to get awkward, and pulled her close, putting my hands on her hips.

She blushed a little, and put her hands on my shoulders "This has been...Fun." she smiled. I nodded "Yea...fun." I pulled her a little bit closer as we got more comfortable...

She kinda stared at my chest. I guess she was embarrassed...or shy. I figured I could see how close she'd let me get before she started glowing like Rudolph's red nose. I slid my arms around her and pulled her nice and close so that the only thing between us was her arms which she'd pulled down to my chest..

This was fine. I wasn't complaining. I hugged her close, and rocked her back and forth with the music. She soon leaned her head against my chest, so I rested my head on hers. She was smiling. I could tell. "Soda..I think Jim likes you the best..out of all the guys..."

I stopped, and pulled away from her. She stared at the floor, I guess I may have hurt her feelings.. I pulled her head up by her chin carefully, and smiled "But who do you like best?" I asked quietly. She blushed, biting her lip.. She's adorable when she does that...it takes all my restraint to keep from pouncing on her with hugs and kisses...

She smiled softly "I like you best." I smiled "I like you best too." I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close. She slid her arms around me, resting her head against my chest, which was easy since she was plenty shorter then me. I liked how she wore those flat shoes, instead of heels...

The song ended, and some country song came on. But that didn't matter. I held her close, She looked up at me with this questioning look in her eyes. I smiled, feeling...at ease?...Yea... She smiled softly. And I found myself kissing her softly.

We stood like that for what seemed like forever, then I felt myself being ripped away from her and thrown to the floor. I glared up at Jim, who did not look to happy...In fact. He was all out mad. "Now I been watching you lover boy! I said to keep your damn hands off her!" he yelled.

**Pony POV**

I collapsed on the ground, breathing heavily. One of the bigger men, grabbed the back of my jacket, and drug me with him...Soon I found myself being thrown into the back of a jeep and ran through the jungle. There were a few other men, groaning in pain.

I didn't think I was. I was trying to be quiet. I didn't want them to find me. I wasn't sure where I was, and I couldn't see straight. Soon I blacked out and woke up to the ceiling of a white tent..A white tent? That means it's the aids' tent.

I set up carefully and looked around. My stomach was bandaged up and there was a blood stain on my right side. Then I remember...I got shot. I shook my head, and tried to think. If I was in aid. Then...I might get to go home..But the judge said I had to spend at least 18 months here...hmm... I wonder if this is an exception.

Oh well. I laid back down and decided to rest while I could. No telling when they'd try to ship us off somewhere else. I'd been in the middle of that process. The men got grumpy, and cussed a lot cause they were hurting.

I relaxed into the small cot I was on and slept. It was a good sleep too. Better then I had in a while. These cots were a big improve to sleeping on the ground...or in a tree.. Depending on where you were stationed. Some places it was safer to sleep in the trees.

**Amy POV**

I felt my heart skip a beat when he kissed me. I was so happy...I liked him the second I seen him...but that was just lust...but then..then I fell in love with his personality too...he's so nice...and kind..and not pushy...I've been in a skirt all night, and not once has he made a move like the other guys...

I wanted it to last forever. I wanted him to hold me, to kiss me, to hug me...I want to hear him say he loves me...

But my heart completely stopped when I felt a strong hand on my shoulder, as Soda was ripped away from me. I almost screamed when I seen Jim standing there, looking like he'd kill him..

I held my breath. Jim cussed at him... And Soda just sat there shocked for a second. Then grinned. I almost cried. Why is he smiling! Is this a joke! Jim'll kill him for that!

And sure enough Jim grabbed him by the shirt collar and jerked him up to his feet. "And what the hell do you think is so funny about this."

Soda just smiled, shaking his head "Nothing, But I do think it's awfully sweet of you to be looking out for your sister like this..."

Now he's done it. Jim threw him across the room, and I could tell Soda was just doing his best, not to hurt anyone else. He sighed, and got to his feet again. "Nice throw. I almost made it across the room, now..about your sister."

He's trying to get killed! Wait...there's Steve...Maybe he'll shut him up..or maybe help him if Jim loses his cool...

Jim got in his face "I'll beat your ass for that one." Soda sighed "I'm just trying to bargain...Let's make a trade...If you let her go out with me...I won't take her virginity. Sound fair?" he grinned. He's done it. Jim slugged him across the face.

He fell to the ground "Fine..fine..." he held the side of his face for a second "Ok...we'll do it the other way... I won't go out with her...and just take her virginity.." Now he's being a smart mouth!

Jim kicked him in the side knocking him over, and was about ready to get on top of him and beat the living daylights out of him, but I had to do something.

So I grabbed Jim's arms and jerked him away "STOP IT JIM! HE WAS BEING NICE!" Jim glared at me, and started yelling at me. I never listen. All he does is blabber about how he's trying to protect me, and just throws in a bunch of cussing.

I got down and helped Soda set up. He had the wind knocked out of him, but just smiled. Jim glared "Get up Amy, I'm not fooling around." I glared at him "Why? So you can beat the holy heck outta him?" He glared "Yes!"

I gave him the meanest look I could muster right now, and sat down in Soda's lap. Soda was a little surprised, and Jim looked like he'd explode. But I just put my arms around Soda's neck, and gave him a kiss...

He held his arms up, so Jim knew it was just me..But I really wanted to make a point..so I pushed him onto his back, and straddled him. Giving him a french kiss. I haven't frenched many guys...in fact...only one...and that was my boyfriend. But I think I know enough to make a point to my brother.

Jim tore me off of him, and threw me towards the door "GET IN THE CAR!" I glared "Not without you!" He growled, and grabbed Soda's collar. "Stay away from her." he hissed..before dropping him, and shoving me out to the car. And taking me home. I knew it'd be a loonnnggggg night.


	8. I'm falling in like with you

The Unshed Tears

Chapter 8

**Soda POV**

Steve took me home. I had a nasty bruise below my right eye, and I was kinda shaky from having the wind knocked out of me...but that was ok...cause...She likes me. She has to... Why would she risk her brother blowing a gasket, just to help me out, to kiss me like that?

Steve was yelling at me, and cussin' me out on the way home. I didn't listen. "Do you think she likes me?" I asked him out of the blue. He hit me in the back of the head "YOU ALMOST GOT KILLED CAUSE SHE LIKES YOU!"

I smiled "So she does?" He growled, and clenched the steering wheel "Damn it Soda. I don't wanna have to tell Darry that you got killed cause you can't keep your hands to yourself."

I shook my head "Jim ain't so bad." Steve slammed on the brakes...I'm glad I'd put my seatbelt on. "You're insane! He'll kill you Soda! You best just find another girl!" I smiled shaking my head "I want Amy."

Steve sighed, and started driving again. "Fine, but don't come crawling to me to get you out of the mess you're gettin yourself in."

I smiled, and got out of the car as we pulled up to my house. Darry got onto me about the fight...but really wasn't in the mood to get in a fight. I wasn't either. So I just kept my trap shut and told him I'd be more careful.

I went to bed, and found myself thinking about her all night. I was getting kinda excited, and had to read the letter from Pony about the war to calm myself down. Then I started thinking about him. And got a little worried. I hope he sends us a letter soon.

**Pony POV**

The next day I asked the aid about what happened and how long we'd be stationed here. She looked at me odd and told me I was in the City... At first I was confused then realized they'd taken me out of the jungle, and that I was actually in a room instead of the tent...

I slowly learned that I'd had surgery on the bullet wound, and that it had hit a rib, which saved me from a lot of organ damage.

And after a couple days I learned that I couldn't go home yet. That they were gonna stick me in some random Prison to finish out the time there once I recovered.

I sighed, and decided to write a letter back home, and sent it without permission from the state since I didn't feel like messing with them right now.

I slept a lot. And maybe a week later–I can't keep track of time real well anymore– They put me on a plane back to the US. I don't know where to though...

**Amy POV**

Jim yelled at me all night long. And told me that I couldn't ever see him again, because now he'd try and take advantage of me. After the lecture I got, I was almost ready to believe him..

Then Evie called. And I talked to her for a long time. She told me about this Sandie girl...and how Soda had been in a rut. I felt sorry for him...and I just wanted to hug him and make him feel better.

I felt like crying all night. Jim kept yelling at me every time he walked by my room, or seen me walking around the house.

I sighed. The weekend drug on. I sat at home most of it. Evie never called to go do anything, And I really didn't know anyone else around here. I'd just moved here a month or two ago. I don't feel like going into details though as to why..

On Monday, I was walking on eggshells around Jim. If I even mentioned leaving the house, or going anywhere, he'd jump all over me. I was thrilled when Evie just walked into the house today. He wouldn't chew me out in front of anyone.

Hollering at me at the party was the closest he's ever been to doing that. He likes to keep our lives real private. Anyway, Evie offered to take me with her to lunch, and I said yes, and shoved her outside before Jim could throw a fit.

She teased me about Soda, but couldn't seem to remember Jim showing up. I figured she had been drinking. I wouldn't put it past her. And she was probably hung over all weekend, which is why she never called to go do anything.

I got quiet again. I always do when I'm with her. She's not exactly a comfortable person to be around. Not to mention I didn't know anyone else. So I didn't talk to anyone else..and I get shy around people I don't know. I really hate it, cause I'll go home and feel so stupid afterwards, wondering why I didn't just talk to them.

I kept quiet in the car. I decided to just sit in the backseat...I'd been around my brother's smoking so much that it doesn't bother me too much. I just use that as an excuse to not have Evie's friends hanging in the window over me..

**Soda POV**

Steve was pretty ticked off. And Darry seemed disappointed, but didn't really say anything to me. I had work on Monday. I hoped that Amy would come by with Evie. I really wanted to talk to her.

I didn't mean to kiss her...I wasn't sure what came over me...and the more I thought about it...the more I wondered if she didn't just kiss me to get back at her brother...

I hope not. It was such a ..nice..kiss... I know I enjoyed it...I might have enjoyed it a little more if her brother hadn't been standing right there...but beggars can't be choosers.

I jumped over the counter when I seen Amy walk in with Evie. One of those things you just do without thinking. I hugged her tight, spinning her around the room "AAMMYYY!" I laughed, swinging her around before setting her back down on the ground.

I didn't let go of her though. She was blushing again..god she's adorable... "Hi Soda.." she said quietly. I grinned "What'd he say?" She smiled softly "He didn't kill me...just a lot of cussin' and loud voices." she said quietly.

I sighed, and kissed her cheek. She blushed horribly, but it felt like the right thing to do.. "I'm Sorry...It's my fault...you should have just let him beat me up...maybe then he'd lay off when I came back for you." I grinned.

She smiled, shaking her head. Steve came in and gave me a questionable look, and I let go of Amy "Wanna Coke?" She smiled and nodded. I got her one, and we headed outside for a little more privacy. I don't like Steve, and Evie standing over there snickering, and laughing at us.

I sighed "So I guess he don't like me?" She smiled "Of course he does...Or he'd just had someone hold me back while he beat the tar outta you." I smiled, "That's a good thing I guess."

She smiled, and sat down on a chair. Soon we were both just sitting and talking. She told me about how the weekend went...it made me feel bad...but she said it was normal. Then I told her how mad Steve got, and we both laughed about it.

I also told her about how Darry took it..and that I probably wouldn't be partying with her again anytime soon. Then I ended up asking her to the movies, and she asked if we could bring Steve, and Evie along. I sighed...I didn't want them to come.

I really just wanted it to be the two of us...But if that makes her more comfortable then Alright. I told her they could go, and soon we talked to them about it. And they both agreed. We'd be going Friday night since it was cheaper.

Soon she had to leave. I was kinda upset, but I figured I'd see her again. And I was right...the next day I seen her at work. She came in with Evie. And came right over to me. I was so happy.

We joked around for a while inside since it was too hot to sit outside. We were laughing, and joking around...And Evie was telling her it was time to go home or something, and she whined about wanting to stay a little longer...and ended up staying 30 minutes longer.

We were joking around...and I ended up slipping on a slick spot on the floor where we'd dumped some wax/polish stuff, and just wiped it up with a towel instead of mopping it...

Anyway. Because of that...I fell, and she walked over laughing at me. I felt my face get hot, but just laughed with her. She bent down, and started to help me up. I just laughed, and pulled her down on top of me.

I love making her blush like that. I really do...and to tell you the truth, I try to do it more often then not. She's adorable when she does...

I wrapped my arms around her, holding her on top of me, so she couldn't get up. She laughed, and I laughed, and kinda 'wrestled' as she tried to get up. I just pulled her up against me, and soon we were just laying there laughing, and too tired from it, to fight anymore..

Soon we calmed down, and were caught in this awkward position of her laying across me, with my arms around her, our faces just inches away from each others...

She wasn't blushing...and I think we both felt at ease...I know _I_ was comfortable...She smiled softly "You know..you're really pretty from this angle.." she said quietly.

I smiled "You're gorgeous..." I said quietly "Amy...I..I really want to kiss you right now.." I said softly, kinda getting lost in her eyes... She bit her lip..smiling... "I'm not going to stop you..." she whispered..

I smiled, and pulled her into a gentle kiss...I didn't want to scare her off...I can't explain how happy...how excited I kinda got...when I felt her completely relax against me...unlike some girls who tensed up at first, and you had to get them use to it...

Maybe she really does love me...maybe she trusts me...maybe I can trust her...maybe...maybe...

**Pony POV**

I slept a lot. I felt sick a lot too. They said it was normal. They'd taken me to the U.S. somewhere. I'm not sure where. I was too tired to care really. But it so cold...they tried to tell me it was the middle of summer here..but I don't believe it. It's just too cold.

A nurse laughed at me when I asked for some blankets...she said " Are you kidding me? It's like 98 degrees outside! " I told her where she could go, and hit the call button to see if someone else was a little more...respondent...

I was there for a long time. I don't know how much time passed. I try to write another letter to Darry and Soda. To kinda let them know what was going on. But every time I tried to set up and do something, I'd get some horrible pains in my side, and have to lay back down.

The doctor's didn't believe me about the pain. Something about I was on too much medication, and they were sure nothing was hurt. I don't care. I just wanna go home...take 5 aspirin every night to get to sleep...and just be home again. Like things use to be.

So simple. Get up, go to school, make it home alive, do homework, go to bed. And start over. Simple. All I had to do was try not to get killed by the socs. Now I've been trying not to get killed by soldiers. Nice.

**Soda POV**

I felt her fingers laced in mine...caught in a kiss, her body against mine. I knew a some point the bell to the front door would ring and a customer would come in and wreck everything...but for right now I prayed it was another slow day.

She pulled away a little, burring her face into my shoulder. I could feel her hot breath on my neck...and it was quickened...Like she was trying to catch her breath. Then I realized I was doing the same thing.

I've never had so much joy as to lay there, and just caress a girl in kisses like I just did... I didn't want to scare her... I didn't want to make her uncomfortable..and I kinda let her lead...

I just got her going then relaxed. She's so cute. And soft...I love the feeling of her rested against me.. I sighed, relaxing a bit more. She moved so that her face was towards me, rested on my shoulder. "Soda.."

I smiled "Yes?" She sighed, just relaxed against me, staring off across the store. "I think I love you..." I smiled even more "I know I love you..."

She blushed now...I couldn't help but smiled "Is that alright?" She smiled, and nodded "Just fine...as long as you can put up with Jim..."

I chuckled "No problem there...I've taken a beating or two in my day." she giggled softly, then sighed "We really should get up, before we give Steve and Evie an excuse to tease us..."

I smiled, "Alright...alright...if you insist..." She smiled, and got up, 'helping me up'. I gave her a light kiss, and got us a couple of cokes.

Soon Evie came in from the garage...and judging by the wrinkled skirt, I figured Steve had about as much fun–or more– then I did..

Evie practically drug Amy out of the garage. "Come on...Jim's gonna kill me for not getting you home on time." she muttered. Amy smiled sheepishly at me, and followed her.

I can't wait until Friday...the movies are a great place to take a girl on the first 'date'. And since technically the party was a set up...this would be our first date. If not...close enough for me.

I smiled, shaking my head as Steve stalked out, getting back to work. He seemed to be in a better mood now.


	9. Bad Memory

The Unshed Tears

Chapter 9

**Soda POV**

It's Thursday..and I'm real excited. Amy has been coming with Evie everyday to visit. It makes work easier...takes a lot of things off my mind. Like the letter we'd gotten from Pony today.

_Dear Sodapop And Darry,_

_I'm in the hospital now. I got shot. I can't remember_

_exactly what was going on. I can't remember a lot of _

_things. Like your address. I had to ask someone to look_

_it up for me. Sorry guys. Anyway...where was I? _

_Oh...yea... I'm in the hospital right now. I got shot in_

_the side. They said that it hit a rib, and that nothing is_

_damaged...but it hurt like hell. I try to tell them, but they_

_won't listen. I don't really know where I am. I know I'm in_

_the U.S. I'm glad to be out of Vietnam. I really am. Even_

_if it means sitting in this hospital for a year. I'll do it to _

_get out of there. The judge, or some officer, or someone_

_decided that I'll just finish my time in a Prison if I get out_

_of the hospital before then. But I don't think I will. Not if_

_They don't figure out what's hurting. If they try to send me _

_like this, I'll throw a fit, and take them to court for cruel_

_and unusual punishment. I will. Anyway..I miss you guys bunches. _

_I hope you're all doing well. If I get there and you're not, I'll_

_be upset. Well.. The nurse is finally coming in to check on me. _

_She hasn't been in at all today, and I'm starved. I guess I'll_

_talk to you guys later.. And get this mailed to you. Take care!_

_-Ponyboy Michael Curtis. _

I was kinda upset that they wouldn't take care of the pains he'd been having...In fact, I was real upset, and I wish I knew where he was and I'd go throw a fit. But alas I don't, so I can't.

I went to work kinda upset. Steve noticed, and asked me what was wrong, and I told him about the letter from Ponyboy. He tried to make me feel better, but it didn't exactly work.

The boss decided that I needed to work pumps today...and it's extremely hot outside, and it was a good day, so lots of people were coming. I really wish I knew where Ponyboy was...

A man honked his horn for the third time wanting assistance, and I moseyed over to the pump "What can I do for ya?" I asked. He just grunted "Fill up the damn tank. And hurry up! You're making me late!"

I sighed, and filled up the tank. He drove off, not tipping me for filling it up. That kinda put a kink in this wonderful mood I was in.

I plopped down on the lawn chair, and closed my eyes since the bright sunlight was giving me a head ache. I kinda started dosing off, but when the heat from the sun was taken away by a shadow, I opened my eyes and smiled up at Amy.

She smiled "Sleeping on the Job are we?" I shrugged "I wouldn't call it sleeping...perhaps, relaxing with my eyes closed." She smiled, and sat down next to me. "Nice... So how has your day been?" she asked.

I sighed "Just peachy." I rolled my eyes. She smiled softly "How come?" I shrugged "Just one of those days I guess..." She smiled shaking her head "What makes it one of those days? Did you start your period or something?" she teased.

I chuckled "Nah, but maybe I should figure out when you do..." I cocked my eyebrow...something I picked up from ole Twobit. She blushed horribly at that comment. I chuckled, shaking my head "Anyway... This morning we got a letter from Ponyboy saying that he got shot, and he's in the U.S. somewhere in a hospital. And when he recovers there, he's going to a Prison to finish out the time."

She gave me a worried look "Poor kid...Is he alright?" I smiled weakly and nodded "Yea..doctor's say he is, but he's not convinced...any how. I got stuck out here on pump duty, and it's been kinda busy...It just let up which is why I was kinda dosing off.."

She smiled softly "That's too bad. Well...maybe if you thought of something nice and cool, it wouldn't seem so hot out here." I grinned, she thinks up some crazy things, but I still love her. Even if she doesn't always make sense.

"Alright, name something cool." I told her. She grinned "Me! Back at my old school, I was top dog thanks to Jim." I smiled "oh really? Was he the local gang leader?" She lost her smile "yea..something like that.."

I smiled and changed the subject "I like the snow..You ever notice that in the winter you want it to be warm like summer, but once it's summer we want it cold like winter? It's like we can never be satisfied with anything.."

She smiled "oh...I wouldn't say anything.." I grinned, she blushed a little. "You wanna prove that point?" She smiled "Alright. Let's say...you have an itch...if you scratch it, then it doesn't itch, you're satisfied."

I chuckled "But usually when you get rid of one itch you just get another somewhere else!" She laughed "Ok...you just ran a mile in the heat–and you get a glass of water, and drink it, Wouldn't you be satisfied then?"

I shook my head "Nope." She laughed "Why not?" I smiled "It's as simple as this. You get one drink after running in this heat, and you'll just want more, until you're sick of drinking too much water. Then you need something to satisfy the illness."

She laughed, shaking her head. "Ok...ok.. Let's say...I'm walking around..." she started walking in a circle back and forth in front of me. "..and you watch me for a while...and I start to kinda..sway my hips..." she did, and I couldn't help but grin. She was walking nice and slow, rocking back and forth...she's got a nice butt...

"And you know you want me..." She grinned, "You wanna hold me..you wanna kiss me...You wanna _love_ me..." she chanted, walking over to me nice and slow.. I'll have to admit...if I didn't keep my head on right she'd be a real turn on...

She leaned over, putting her hands on my knees, face to face with me. Something in me really wanted to look down her shirt...but I decided against it as I got lost in her eyes... So beautiful...

I smiled "You know..you might be right about this one.." I said quietly... She smiled, and kissed me softly, blushing a little, but that just made me want to jump on her with kisses...

She started to pull back, getting a little embarrassed, but I grabbed her hands, and pulled her back "Hey hey hey...where ya going? I didn't say I was...satisfied.." she smiled.

I pulled her into another soft kiss...and then another..and another... And in a few seconds, she was sitting in my lap, facing me...lip locked.

I put my hands on her back..at first... to make sure she was comfortable...then kinda trailed them to her hips, pulling her close... She had her arms around my neck loosely.

She pulled back, kinda panting for breath. I hadn't even realized I'd needed a breath until she pulled back. So we were both breathing heavily. She blushed, and nuzzled her face into my neck.

I smiled, and just pulled her close, keeping my arms wrapped around her. "Soda...I..well, I wanted to tell you..." I grinned "I love you Amy." I said softly.

She sighed, happily I believe, "I love you too.." I smiled. And nuzzled my face into her neck. "Is that what you were going to say?" I asked softly, kinda worried, I'd cut her off. She hugged me close "Yea..that was it."

I could have died right there. That's how I want to die. Completely at ease. Happy. Madly in Love. With the person I love. Her arms around me. As happy as I am. Together...

I almost wanted someone to shoot me right then, for the soul purpose of dying happy. I chuckled to myself softly, and she picked her head up "What's wrong? Did I tickle you..." she asked smiling.

I grinned.. "Nope...Just thinking bout how much I love you.." She smiled "And that's funny to you?" I chuckled "Yea..it is..." She set back a bit "How so?"

I smiled "Well..just...I'm so happy...I could care less about anything else in the world. I mean..sure I'm still scared to death for Ponyboy...I feel sorry for Darry, and I still miss Johnny and Dallas...but...Just...being here with You...and knowing you Love me...and feeling like I can trust you...It means the world to me."

She blushed, and kinda got shy again. I gave her a kiss, and pulled her close, holding her. Rocking her back and forth in my arms... It felt so good to have someone again... I feel like I've been alone for over two years... Losing Darry, and Pony along with Johnny and Dallas...then Sandie..it was just too much... No one will know about that night at the lot...

**_Flashback!_** (slash memory for soda) (a/n I've always wanted to do one lol)

**Anyone POV**

It had been 2 months after the death of Johnny and Dallas. Soda was taking it hard, but tried to smile for everyone. Darry and Ponyboy were fighting more and more. Pony kept quiet if he wasn't arguing.

Soda couldn't really do anything about it. He'd tried just running off, but that didn't work. Even begging them wouldn't work. So all he could do was sit back and watch quietly.

One night Darry and Pony got in a horrible fight. Darry went to bed early, and Pony told Soda he was gonna run off to Bucks, and not to tell Darry.

Soda sat in the quiet living room by himself. Staring at the chair that had been practically thrown out of the kitchen..and Darry's side table that had been knocked over. The lamp laying half broken on the floor.

The front door was open, and there was a cool draft. Soda got up and walked into the kitchen. He dug through a drawer, finding what he was after, then headed outside.

He was a little chilled cause he forgot a jacket. He walked out to the lot, and sat down on an old torn up car seat. It was dark, and the only light was a flickering street lamp down the road a little ways.

He sighed, going over everything in his head. He'd lost Johnny to the fire. Dallas to the damn cops. And he'd lost Sandie because...well... he didn't really know why he had to lose her. Not to mention the loss of his parents before.

They were all he had left, and now he was losing Darry, and Ponyboy... What was he suppose to do? Stand by and wait? Watch it happen? Let it hurt him again? Or he could just quit. Get out of there. Leave before it could do him hurt.

So that's what he was going to do. Leave. Leave before he got hurt again. Cause once he lost Pony and Darry...He had no one.

He picked up the knife he'd grabbed from the drawer. He'd heard of people doing this...and wasn't real sure as to what to do. He sighed, figuring there really wasn't a wrong way.

He looked at his wrist, then shivered. Knowing that it would make him sick to cut himself there, the figured he'd do it somewhere...less noticeable.

That way if he changed his mind and got help...or lived...or if someone came along...It wouldn't be so bad. Maybe slower. Definitely slower...but that's alright. He wanted to be able to think. To remember.

He rolled his sleeves up. And pressed the knife against his arm...right below his shoulder. He bit his lip. Tears coming to his eyes. He did the same to the other side, and felt chills go down his spine as the blood ran down his arms.

He put his face in his hands, and cried. He didn't know how long it must have been. All he knew was it had been pretty long since his clothes were soaked in the blood.

He felt a couple strong arms grab onto his. There were rushed voices around him, and he was hoisted up to his feet "Sodapop! What the hell happened?" It was Steve. Good ole Steve. Always there to save a life.

Twobit was next to him too, holding his arm, helping him keep steady "Sodapop? Did you do this?" he was a little more calm then Steve who was pale, and shaken..

**Soda POV**

I just nodded, not knowing what else to do. My vision was fuzzy, and I felt like I'd pass out. They must have noticed cause they but put my arms around their shoulders, and walked me home.

Darry never left me alone again. Not for a long time. He made me sleep in the living room for a couple weeks too. And he'd sit in his arm chair. He'd wake up if I moved so much as to get up to go pee.

Ponyboy looked at me funny. For a long time. Like I was crazy. Like he was guilty. Like he was scare of me. I don't know how to explain it. I'd hit bottom.

I'd scared everyone. It was over. I knew it was. I was shaken and wished they hadn't found me. Darry spent a ton of money for me to get counseling. That was awkward. Sitting in a room with some weird lady, trying to tell her why it was a good idea to try and kill yourself.

It was hard for things to get back to normal. But over a year it did...but it was a slow process...

**End Flashback**

**Amy POV**

I was so happy. Him holding me close felt so right. I prayed that Jim would loosen up when he got to know Soda. Know how great he is...how trustful he is...

We sat there for a long time. Until I realized he was shaking. I kinda pulled back "Are you alright?" He stared at the ground. I kinda bent over, looking up at him, so I could see his face. Tears ran down his face, and he looked away from me.

"Hey, Soda?...What's the matter?" I asked, moving to face him again. He sighed heavily. "It-it's just that..There's been times...that I..I didn't think I'd make it this far...That I wouldn't get to this point in time.."

What was he talking about? He didn't think he'd get another girlfriend or—"Soda? Do you mean you–" "Amy, I can't talk about it. I'm past that...I just..it still hurts to remember it." Oh god...he didn't...did he? I glanced down at his arms...which looked fine to me. Maybe not...maybe he didn't...

I felt bad...since he was upset...and gave him a kiss "Don't worry, You've got me now...and I won't let anything happen to you."

He smiled softly, and gave me a kiss. "I hope so..." he said quietly "It's been so long since I've felt like I could trust someone..like I could...could be close to someone and not get hurt."

I smiled "In a way...me too..Cause after my last boyfriend...Jim has only gotten worse..and I'm scared..someone's not going to be good enough for him...and I'll stuck living with him for the rest of my life."

Soda sighed "You've gotta learn to leave your brother...you know? Get past worrying about what he wants and figure out what you want..and until you can do that...I don't think even I can help you."

I smiled, he made so much sense, and at this point. I know he's what I want...and I think since I love him so much Jim will like him too..he just has to give him a chance.

But speak of the devil, I'm not sure how he's gonna do that now. I felt a couple strong hands grab me from under my arms, and haul me off of Soda.

Jim dropped me on the ground next to Reggie–wait what's he doing here?– I didn't have time to worry about that as Jim grabbed Soda by the collar and slam him against the building.

Reggie helped me up and I realized that all the guys were here...What are they doing? Shouldn't they be back home!


	10. Blood Poisoning

The Unshed Tears

Chapter 10

**Soda POV**

Shit. Does he just stalk his sister? And who are all these other guys...Shit...Is he really some Gang leader? I bet he could kill me..I wonder how many guys he's already killed over his sister..

Some guy helped Amy up off the ground, and she was speechless...She looked around at all of them, then back at Jim who was about to kill me.

He pulled me away from the wall then slammed me back into it. "STOP STARING AT MY FUCKING SISTER!" He yelled. That knocked the wind out of me. That's a sickening feeling..it's like you don't know when you'll get your next breath, or if you'll get one. I gasped in some air, before he slammed me into the wall again.

"Do we understand each other?" he said in a low voice. I didn't want to back down to this guy, cause I didn't want him to think he could scare me "No I don't...You're harassing when in fact_ She_ came onto _me_!"

He threw me down pretty fast... I got really dizzy for some reason, and then I felt his fist slam into the middle of my back. I was sprawled out on my stomach. Kinda gasping for breath. That hurt...it felt like he'd throw my back out of place.

Amy screamed at him.. "Jim! STOP IT NOW! It's my fault! I'm the one who sat in his lap! Would you leave him alone?" Jim just glared "He provoked you I'm sure. Reggie, put her in the car, and get her to shut up." he ordered.

I didn't like that. And pulled myself up off the floor. I seen the guy go to grab her arm, but she just jerked away "Don't touch me!"

I turned and face him "Listen...let's just talk? Sound good? I'll grab us some cokes, and we'll talk." He glared "What's to talk about! I want you to stay away from my sister!"

"You're sheltering her! Do you even ask her about how she feels? She says you're suffocating her!" I snapped. He tried to punch me, but I dodged it. "Tell him Amy!" I told her.

She looked at me unsure, then looked at Jim who'd turned to her. "Well? You got something to say to me?" he snapped at her. She got quiet, and looked at the ground. Come on Amy...don't make me a liar...

He walked over getting right in her face "Well? What is it?" She bit her lip "Nothing ok! You're just trying to protect me remember!" She snapped, then ran off crying. Jim sighed "Reggie go." the guy turned and followed her.

Jim walked over to me. "You..my friend...just became a liar..." I sighed, not sure what else I could do. Before I knew it two guys were holding me against the building, while he started punching me.

I guess I'd started yelling. I don't remember telling myself too. All I know is Steve came out, cussing, saying that he had called the cops, and they left. He helped me inside, and told me it was just a bluff.

I sighed, feeling sick and dizzy, and just curled up behind the counter passing out. I felt sick, and hurt, and like I'd just lost everything.

Steve shook me at closing time. "Come on Buddy...let's get you home." He helped me up and to his car. Taking me home. He told Darry he'd explain, and put me in bed. I was glad for that. And I was really glad he'd talk to Darry. I didn't feel up to getting chewed out right now.

**Pony POV**

I feel sick. I can't move. I really can't. I think...I'm gonna die. Just...keel over. Really. I-I don't know what's wrong. The doctor told me. But I can't remember. I've got to get a nurse to sit down and write a letter out for me.

I can't hardly breath. And I'm cold...so cold...I f-feel sick. I need to sleep...No...don't sleep...don't sleep...You might not wake up...and then you can't tell Soda and Darry.

And you know the state won't tell them. You know they don't care. They won't tell them. They won't know until I never come home... Will they care? I hope not. I don't want them hurt.

I gotta stay awake...Just a little bit longer. A nurse should come in to check on me soon. Just focus on the clock. Count...try to remember your address. Just think. If you think, You don't sleep.

**Amy POV**

I ran off crying. I'd screwed up again. Soda was looking at me to tell him the truth, and I let him down, and I let myself down. How is Jim ever gonna take me seriously if I can't even stand up to him?

I heard someone running behind me...and soon a couple of strong arms grabbed me and pulled me into a hug. I cried into Reggie's chest. And it felt like the good ole days.

When we were back home, and I always had the gang on my side. I always had Reggie.. Good ole Reggie. He's the only guy that Jim ever really trusted. And with that trust he earned me.

He was my only boyfriend. The only guy that Jim could put up with. All the old memories with Reggie came back to me as he held me close. His scent was intoxicating...

He chuckled deeply, holding me close "I missed you.." I smiled "I missed you too...what are you guys doing here?" He picked my chin up "What's a gang without it's leader? Things were getting boring back home without you guys."

I smiled "I knew you couldn't stay away." he grinned, rubbing my back softly. Trying to calm me down. I was still a little shaky from crying.

He smiled "You didn't change a bit." he said. I smiled "Neither did you..." Before I knew it, I felt him kissing me...holding me close...and there wasn't anything I could do...because I enjoyed it...

We'd only broken up for a couple reasons. One was because I was moving here...but he didn't know why I wasn't so sad about leaving him.. He has a tendency to get rough...we've never went all the way or anything...but he's defiantly touched me in ways I didn't necessarily like...

**Soda POV**

I went to work the next day. I had several bruises. And I think my ribs may be busted up pretty good. But I don't care. Why did she run off? Why couldn't she tell him...

Darry didn't say anything to me. I offered to work on cars. I had wore my old jeans, and one of my oil stained shirts. I didn't feel real good, so I just ran a comb through my hair. I didn't bother greasing it up.

Steve noticed, and asked me if everything was alright, and I just told him I wasn't feeling so hot after having the shit beat out of me yesterday.

He let it go, and I worked on a car all day. Amy didn't visit. Evie came by to see Steve...and I was kinda hurt to see that Amy hadn't tagged along. Maybe she was avoiding me.

I went home that night, and slept...Tomorrow was suppose to be our date. But I don't know if she'll still want to go with me..

Darry got me up to eat dinner, then I went back to sleep. I didn't feel well...and I was worried about Pony. But I guess that was more because it was something to think about besides Amy.

The next day, I went back to working on the car. I was underneath it, on a little rolling board. "Sodapop?" I heard Amy ask... "That's me." I answered. Still working under the car.

I glanced over, seeing her standing next to the car "Can we talk for a second.." I seen someone in jeans, and some black shoes, and figured it was Steve.

I rolled out, and glared at the guy standing next to her. I think Jim called him Reggie...I can't remember. Amy introduced us, but I didn't move to shake his hand anytime.

Amy bent down "Did Jim do that?" she asked looking at the bruises across my face. "Yea..he did." I said simply. She looked sad, but at the moment I wasn't feeling too forgiving. Why did she just run out on me? "I'm sorry Soda...I didn't think–"

I shook my head "You didn't huh? Why didn't you tell him? Huh?" She looked at me saddly "I freaked okay? I didn't know what to say. How am I suppose to look at my brother, and tell him to back off and leave me alone when all he's trying to do it protect me?"

I stared across the garage. Then laid back down, getting under the car, going back to work. "Soda...don't do this...come talk to me."

I shook my head even though she couldn't see me. "What's to talk about. I mean...How am I suppose to tell you that I feel like you let me down, and that I don't know if you really care about me anymore? When all I wanted to do was to make you happy."

She got quiet. I hope she's happy. She'll never really know how much she's hurt me. "Fine Soda. Don't bother picking me up for the movies tonight. I won't be there." she said, sounding upset. Then I could hear the click of her shoes as she hurried out of the garage with Reggie following.

That hurt a lot. But I pushed it to the back of my mind, and focused on every turn of the wrench, every click of the socket wrench, and every bang of the hammer against the metal, as I slowly fixed up the beat up car.

When I got home that night, I checked the mail, and didn't know whether to be worried, or happy to receive a letter from a hospital in California.

I opened it up, walking inside. I stopped in the door way as I started reading the letter that wasn't in Pony's handwriting. It was too pretty to be his...

Dear Sodapop And Darry Curtis,

I'm sending this letter in regards of Ponyboy Michael Curtis.

He's asked me to write this for him. And the rest is from his own words.

I love you guys. Don't ever forget that. Something's gone wrong.

I knew it would. They wouldn't listen. I can't breath, and everything

seems to be weighing down on me. I can't move, which is why I'm

having the nurse write this letter for me. I hope it gets to you

alright. Something about an infection where the bullet went in.

I can't remember, and the nurse says she'll attach a notice as to

what's wrong. It'll need surgery, and they don't know if it'll work.

I feel sick just thinking about it. I'm gonna miss you guys if I don't

make it. I hope you'll remember me in a good way. Not like I left.

I hate myself for ever turning into that. And I really wanted

a chance to fix it. But I guess I might not get that chance.

If I do...promise you won't let me go back to that. Don't let me.

I can't stress how much you guys mean to me. And I love you.

And I know you wouldn't want me to die without saying

goodbye. But..I know that you both love me, and care about me.

And I know you're both worried. And I hope you'll understand.

I love you,

_Ponyboy Michael Curtis_

The signature was shaky, and I could hardly read it. But I knew what it said. He'd signed it. And it looks like it had been difficult for him. I wanted so bad to fall to my knees, and bawl, but I had to figure this out.

I looked at the other piece of paper attached that had a bunch of big words, saying what was wrong with him. But I couldn't for the life of me understand what it said.

I wanted to cry... I wanted to curl up in a corner and die. So I went to my room and bawled my eyes out into my pillow.

I felt someone's hand on my back, and I knew Darry had come home. He sat there with me for a long time while I cried. I felt kinda bad cause he should be crying too.

So once I had the energy, I set up and gave him the letter "I-I can't read the doctor's report...what does it mean?" I asked shakily once he was finished with Pony's letter.

He looked torn, and I knew he'd been bawling next to me in a minute. But he held himself together long enough to read the doctor's report.

"It...it says...that he's got blood poisoning..." he said shakily. I bit my lip "But what does that mean? I don't understand any of that!"

Darry sighed shakily "They'll have to do this process where t-they slowly take out chunks of his blood, and replace it with clean blood...and they'll have to keep doing this until all the blood is replaced.."

I fidgeted around a bit. "B-but how long will that take?" "It could take several weeks...to months...and sometimes years I think. C-cause they've got so many complications to worry about...he might react differently to the new blood in his system. There's no telling what could happen."

Soon he broke down...which made me break down. We cried all night. He passed out before I did. And the next morning, nothing was said as he went to work.

I went to work, just because I feel like I could do something drastic if I wasn't at the garage or somewhere where people–namely Steve– were watching me...

Amy didn't come by. And for some reason Evie and Steve kept talking in hushed voices. I just stared at the counter. I had to work the register since I'd gotten the car finished. It was a slow day, and I slowly got more and more depressed as the hours inched by.


	11. He's Gonna Make It!

The Unshed Tears

Chapter 11

**Pony POV**

I feel sick and dazed. They've tried to explain to me what's going on, but I can't seem to understand it. I don't know why. Something about draining my blood..

I asked if they were gonna use leeches, which made perfect sense at the time, and they promised me it was all done with the proper machinery.

I sighed, and tired to sleep before the operation, but it didn't work out for me. I remember when they put me to sleep to start everything...They put a needle in my arm that looked like it'd go through my skull.

The next thing I knew, I was in a quiet room. There was what looked like an IV in one arm, and then this weird machine hooked up to the other. I think that one was draining blood. This feels weird.

One arm feels cold...I can feel the knew blood running through my veins...while at the same time it feels like it's just sucking the life out of my other arm. Like..when you put the hose of a vacuum up to your arm, and get that weird sensation.

Later a nurse told me I'd been in an induced coma for a month now, and I requested that someone would help me write a letter to my family, and got that taken care of. They said they'd mail it the next day.

**Amy POV**

I was mad at Reggie. He couldn't figure out why I was crying. I try to tell him, but I just started crying harder. None of this was fair. None of it. It made me so mad...

He offered to beat Soda up...but I just screamed at him, and basically flipped out. Soon he just stalked off. That's when I snuck out of the house. I needed some fresh air. My brother was making life difficult again, and I feel like I just screwed up the only chance of a boyfriend I had.

Mainly because the Gang is gonna scare off all the other guys... Sodapop is the only guy who bothered to stick around, even after a beating from my brother. I wish I wouldn't have gotten upset...

I wish I had Soda. I really wish I'd be with him right now at the movies. I really do..

**Soda POV**

I went to the movies that night anyways. I wasn't really feeling up to it, but Steve ditched Evie, and took me anyways. He said I needed to just relax and not think about everything that was going on.

I'm worried sick about Pony. And I feel like Amy just tore out what was left of my heart. I don't think I'll ever be able to cheer up again. I really don't.

Steve kept trying to keep the subject light and happy. But I wasn't in a talkative mood. I just sat quietly in the theater and watched the movie. It was some horror film that was suppose to be real scarey. I didn't care. If you've seen one, you've seen them all.

That night Darry sat next to my bed until I went to sleep. He didn't trust me. I'd hit bottom again. And the fact that he doesn't trust me, hurts even worse. I with all of this would go away. I wish I was the one laying in a hospital bed...slowly dying... I wish non of this had ever happened...

Some time passed. I'm back to not knowing when what happened, or how long it's been. Steve seems worried now. I see Amy here or there, but I don't pay any attention to her. She's always hanging around that Reggie guy.

One day I was grabbing the mail and sorted the junk from the bills. And found a letter from a hospital. I felt my heart drop. It was addressed with a stamp meaning it came straight from the staff. That means...Pony might be dead..

I was so shaken that I nearly passed out. My knees gave out from under me, but luckily Steve realized something wasn't right, and had put a hand on my shoulder, and ended up catching me. Things blacked for a moment, then I came to again, laying on the couch.

There was a wet rag on my forehead, and it was quiet. I opened my eyes, and looked around the room. Darry was sitting on the floor next to the couch, and Steve was in the recliner.

"Dar?" I asked. He looked up "Are you alright little buddy?" I sighed, and set up, taking the rag off my forehead "Yea..I think so...Did..Did you see the letter?" He nodded "I didn't open it though."

I sighed "Why not?" He picked up the envelope "I figured we should both read it.." I sighed heavily. "Wait..I need..I need something to drink first..I'm a little light headed."

Darry nodded, and got me a glass of water. I drank it, and forced myself to stop shaking before I let Darry open the letter. He smiled "It says it's from Pony."

I looked up hopefully, and started reading over his shoulder.

_**Dear Sodapop & Darrel Curtis,**_

_**This is a letter from Ponyboy Michael Curtis who was**_

_**not in the condition to write it, but requested someone**_

_**to write it for him. The following is his own words.**_

_Hey guys. I hope you're doing alright. I'm doing a little_

_better now. It's weird how they do this. But I'm not _

_complaining. It doesn't hurt at all, and they said that_

_it'll all be done in a couple weeks. I plan on coming_

_home as soon as possible. I talked to a lawyer, and_

_they said I might be able to get out of going to jail. _

_I hope so. I wanna come home. I miss you guys, and I'm_

_real sorry for not just going to prison in the first place. _

_Anyways, I hope you're doing alright, and I'll try to get _

_a letter sent to you again real soon._

_Take care, _

_Ponyboy Curtis_

I could tell that he had signed the letter. It was kinda shaky, and sloppy looking. I sighed in relief. He's alive. He's okay...he's gonna come home.. I can't wait...my baby brother's gonna come home..

Darry rubbed my back "Feeling better now?" I grinned "Lots.." I soon relaxed into the couch, and ended up falling asleep again. I slept through most the night, and woke up around midnight to find Darry quietly watching the television.

"Hey Dar, what are you still doing up?" I asked sleepily. He smiled softly "Go back to sleep little buddy. I don't have work tomorrow, and couldn't sleep."

I yawned and set up. He sighed "Come on little buddy, you need some sleep. You look beat." I smiled at him weakly "Yea, but so do you...besides, I'm not sleepy..." I set up leaning against the arm of the couch, watching the tv.

It was just the normal stuff that was on at that time. Talk shows, and re-runs of series that didn't matter enough to play during the day. I yawned, and stayed awake for a little bit, until I got tired again, and curled up going to sleep.

But before I actually fell asleep I was happy to hear Darry turn the tv off, and trudge back to his room. Soon complete darkness fell in the room and I slept like a rock.

The next day I had to go to work. Steve came by and got me, and then we headed off. I was in a better mood. But I got stuck on pump duty so things were slow and boring, listening at the cars honk their horns, and the people cussing cause it's rush hour.

Soon things died down, and I had a pocket of change from tips. A familiar car pulled up but I wasn't too worried about it. I just walked out, and pumped the gas. Then I heard an annoying voice "Sodapop! Babe! How you doing? You look so cute today! Get enough sleep hun?"

I glared at Evie tiredly, and jumped a little when the backdoor opened. I frowned when I seen Amy. She was digging through her purse for something or another, and didn't seem to notice me, so I finished pumping the gas, and told Evie how much.

She just giggled "Come on inside, you need a break." she said with a smile "Come on Amy. It's about time you got away from that creep you're always hangin around!"

She nodded, and followed. I hadn't heard her say anything yet, but figured It didn't matter. Evie gets on my nerves a lot. She's loud mouth, and keeps trying to get me with Amy when apparently she don't care about me.

**Amy POV**

I hate Evie. I hate her! She swore she wouldn't bring me around here. After what I did to him... I can't stand to be around him. He seems so sad, and depressed. It kills me to see him like that...

I followed them in, keeping quiet, and back a bit. Soda grabbed a coke, and sat down in a chair, not looking at me at all. I knew he hated me. I know it for sure...

I sighed, and stood at the other end of the store, looking at little things here and there. I hated this. She always drags me here, and everything get's awkward.

I sighed, when Evie called me over. She asked if I wanted to go to the movies tonight, and I said sure. Then she smiled, and asked Soda. I sighed, and looked at the floor. She was doing it again.

To my surprise he said sure, and that was it. She drug me out to the car, and gave me a big lecture about how sad he's been, and about how now would be the perfect time to move in cause he just got some good news about his brother and all that junk that I don't care about, because he hates me.

I didn't talk at all, and when we did finally leave I demanded that Evie took me home. I was so mad at her for bringing me there in the first place, and going to the movies with Soda being there wasn't helping.

When I got back, my brother was no where to be seen. Reggie walked in, and I sighed, going to the kitchen, I was in no mood for him. But alas he followed me. "Hey Amy, What's up?" he asked, as he leaned on the counter while I got myself a coke from the fridge.

I sighed "Nothing, where's my brother?" He grinned "He went out of town for a couple days." I stared at him "What? Again? Why did he go this time?"

He just chuckled "He had some business to take care–" I cut him off "Shut up, you always say that." I stalked off into the living room, and sat down on the couch. I was really in no mood for him to be pushing, but he followed me anyways, and sat down next to me.

"Now now now... Why, missy, are you being so prissy?" He raised his eyebrows at me. I wanted so bad to smack him, but I could since we were alone, and he was much bigger then me. I sighed "I'm having a bad day, and you're not making it better."

He grinned "Oh really? Maybe I can help.." he wrapped his arms around me, and I lost it, getting up. "Leave me the hell alone Reggie! I don't like you for the last time! I'm over it, and you should be too!"

He got up not looking too happy "What are you talking about?" I glared at him "Listen, Just back off." he glared at me for a second before he got a real mad look on his face. "Is it that little punk from the gas station?" he snapped angrily.

I felt my heart drop. I knew that it was, but I wasn't gonna let him get hurt for something he didn't even know about or want "Hell no! Just leave me alone Reggie! Ever think I just didn't like _you_?"

He grabbed my wrist jerking me closer "You little heifer. You seem to like me just fine before you left town!" I glared at him "Let go of me! Sure, I might have liked you then, but living in the middle of a gang of drug dealers, you don't tend to set your sights too high!"

He slapped me across the face, still holding onto my wrists, and I kinda stood there in shock before glaring at him through the tears that were washing over my eyes in pain...

He sighed "I-I'm sorry Amy...I didn't mean to hit you.." he pulled me into a hug, and I stood there for a second before getting a scared feeling, like he'd just hurt me again if he got the chance...

So I kneed him in the groin and took off running out of the house. I'd barely stopped to grab my purse as I ran. I heard him yelling and cussing at me in the background, but ignored it as I ran to Evie's house.

I nearly broke down crying when she wasn't there, but felt relieved, when I realized she'd left the door unlocked. I sighed shakily and pushed the door open, before closing it, and locking it. Then I walked around the messy apartment before finding the covered couch, and sitting down.

I sat there for a few hours before I heard someone cursing and fumbling around with the door, I walked over and looked through the peephole, and opened the door to Evie. She jumped a little, and I felt stupid when I seen Steve with her, with his arms wrapped around her.

She looked at me for a second then sighed "What happened to your face?" She asked. I bit my lip "I um.. I don't wanna talk about it." I said quietly, unsure about the half glare half concerned look I was getting from Steve.

Evie sighed, and walked in, telling Steve to sit down while she got me a cold bag of ice. She sat down next to me at the kitchen table, and tried to get me to talk, but I refused while Steve was there.

The last thing I needed was him hating me for wanting sympathy for something like this, after what I'd done to Soda. And what's worse...is I don't even want the sympathy, but I would like a safe place to stay until my brother gets back.

It was a long night, and soon Steve decided to go crash at the Curtis' place. I sighed, and slowly told Evie what had happened, then I got a long lecture about how to take care of the bruise before it got bad, and how I could always stay with her.


	12. Movies?

The Unshed Tears

Chapter 12

**Soda POV**

Steve came over. Which was nice. After Darry went to bed, he kept me up to talk. I regretted it after he brought up Amy.

"He's beating her Soda. And she's too stupid to say something to her lousy brother." He went on. Great, now am I suppose to feel sorry for her?

I sighed. And soon went to bed. The next day, was slow. I had work, and Steve kept an eye on me. I don't mind as much anymore. I know he's just worried, but he's laid off a little since we got that letter from Ponyboy.

I don't know how I feel about tonight though... Being around Amy might be a bad idea, but then again...maybe not. She's always hanging around that one guy...Reggie, Ralph, Ryan...whatever his name is... So maybe she's moved on and there's nothing to worry about.

Heck, I know she's moved on. She's too good for a guy like me... I wonder why she bothers hanging around the DX anymore...maybe Evie just drags her along.

Steve messed up my hair "Hello? Can you hear me?" I looked at him confused, apparently he'd been talking to me, and I'm not exactly listening...

"Sorry, I was kinda zoning out.. What did you want?" He sighed, giving me a light smirk "I was just wondering if you really wanted to go tonight, or if you just said yes so you wouldn't offend anyone."

I sighed "I'd like to go...mainly to get out of the house for once... I could care less if she's there or not." I focused on the magazine I had been 'reading'. Knowing that he knew I was worried about Amy being there.

He dropped the subject, and started joking around. I knew he was trying to cheer me up. I just smiled shaking my head. He's a good friend.. I'm glad he's still around.

After work, we headed to my house, and ate dinner. Darry told me to loosen up and have some fun for once, and not to worry about what time I got home as long as I was having a good time. And when Darry's telling you to go out and have fun–that's really saying something.

I took a shower, washing up even though I didn't usually worry about it too much. Then greased my hair up. I don't know why, but I felt like I needed to show Amy that I wasn't some sloppy wreck without her. Like I wanted to impress her or something...

Not that I think there's still a chance between us, but I don't want her pity. I don't wanna be the doe's fawn wandering the forest after the hunter shot it's mom. Stupid analogy I know, but that's how I feel. She's the hunter who pity's me...

I sighed, and put on one of my nicest white shirts. And pulled on a flannel over shirt. I didn't bother tucking it in, or buttoning it up. In fact about all I did was roll the sleeves up, my collar still up around my neck cause I was too lazy to fix it just then.

I pulled on some clean jeans that Darry had ironed for me, and thrown on my bed. Then searched for my shoes... This took the longest, and soon I was pulling them on as I grabbed a drink of chocolate milk. Then I sighed, and went to the bathroom, quickly brushing my teeth, before taking one last look at my greased up hair before walking outside.

Steve smiled when he seen me, "Getting all Pretty Eh?" he asked as he threw open his car door. This was one of those precious times his car was running good. So we were picking the girls up at Evie's house.

**Amy POV**

I paced back and forth getting nervous. "Evie, are you sure I look alright?" She smiled "You look fine Sugar, now sit down and relax.."

I sighed, and sat down, rubbing my shoulder gently where I had a bruise, giving to me by Reggie. It had happened before he slapped me...but he drunk then...and felt really bad afterwards...

I sighed again, looking at the clock. Evie was kinda watching me, then smiled "You still like him." I looked up "Hm? Who?" She smiled knowingly "You still like Soda, don't you?"

I shrugged "I never said I hated him." She smiled "You know...I'm pretty sure he still likes you, a little torn because he thinks you hate him...but I think he still has some hope."

I sighed, I really didn't want to do this to him, because I'm not sure if I can keep the same thing from happening that happened last time.

Soon someone knocked on the door. Evie got up and without looking through the peephole, opened the door. I looked up when she gasped "What are you doing here!" She hissed at the man standing there.

I froze where I was. What was Reggie doing here? He shoved her aside and walked over "Where the hell have you been?" he hissed at me. I just looked up at him, feeling like a little kid who got in trouble for running out into the street.

He grabbed my arm and jerked me up "Jim about blew his top when he called and I didn't have you at the house to talk to him!" he yelled. I was scared of him. And wasn't sure what to say... "I-I've been here.." I said softly.

He jerked me even closer, I could feel his warm breath on my face, and it made me sick... "Let go of me.." I told him softly. He glared at me "What!" he snapped.

I jumped when I felt him being jerked away from me...Last time I checked Evie wasn't that strong. And like I've stated before...Reggie's a big guy.

I wasn't really surprised to see Steve holding him back against the wall, but still...it was unexpected. They're at least ten minutes early. Reggie was raging mad, and Steve didn't seem to happy himself..

I jumped when I felt someone's hand on my back..mainly because I knew it wasn't Evie's. "Are you alright?" Soda asked softly. I just nodded, looking at him. Searching for something in his sad eyes...

He looked away from me, and I seen his eyes go cold as he glared at Reggie who was now arguing with Steve. I took a shaky breath, then walked over, pulling Steve out of the way "Reggie! Shut up and go home. Tonight I'm going to the movies with them."

I stared at him. He seemed furious with the idea. I sighed "Then I'll come home." Steve didn't like that idea though... "You can't do that Amy!" He argued. Reggie grabbed his shirt "This doesn't concern you!" he snapped.

Steve was going to say something, but I pushed them apart. "Come on Randles! I'm going with you two tonight, and then I'll go with him. Alright? I'll be fine." I re-assured him. Reggie sighed, knowing I'd be stubborn and that, that was probably the best he'd get from me.

I sighed, knowing this could be a good or bad idea. But I didn't care. I was relieved when Reggie stood up straight, and stalked off threatening that if I didn't come home tonight he'd tell Jim I was 'messing around with Soda or Steve'. And he knew Jim would throw a fit...

I sighed, and relaxed once he was gone. Steve sighed "Come on, let's get going." I nodded, and soon followed him, Evie, and Soda out the door.

Evie hung on Steve who just grinned wrapping his arm around her waist. I stared at the floor as I walked next to Soda. "Are you sure you're alright?" he asked again, in that same concerned quiet tone.

I smiled at him, hoping he couldn't see through it "I'm alright, don't worry. He's all talk." He sighed, and nodded, watching Steve, and Evie ahead of us.

Soon we got to Steve's car. Naturally, Evie climbed into the front seat with Steve, while Soda opened the door for me so I could get into the backseat. I knew he wasn't trying to get my attention or get back together with me... It was just a nice gesture. But I wish it was more.

**Soda POV**

I tried to be polite. I asked her if she was alright, and opened the car door for her before getting in. Steve's laughter, and Evie's giggles made it hard to start a conversation with her. So we kinda just kept quiet.

Soon Steve parked the car, and we walked into the small theater. I hated the awkwardness, but I figured that maybe if we talked it would go away.

Soon we were sitting down in the theater, back in the back so no one would bother us. Not many people showed up for the movie. It had been playing for a week already so I'm sure most of everyone had already seen it if they planned on seeing it at all.

I'm sure that Evie and Steve weren't too keen on actually watching the movies. Heaven forbids they pay attention to something other then themselves.

I felt silly sitting next to Amy while Steve and Evie wandered off down the row. She smiled at me gently, and offered me some of her popcorn. I smiled, and took a couple pieces "So how have you been?" I asked, hoping to strike up some kinda of conversation.

She just smiled "Alright, you?" I shrugged "I've been alright. We got a letter saying Ponyboy's doing better, and he might be coming home soon." I smiled.

She smiled, and not one of those fake smiles, one that seemed literally happy for him. Soon the movie previews started, and we talked about movies that would be coming on soon...

When the movie started we got quiet. Every once in a while, you'd hear a giggle, or something in the room, but it was really too dark to know who was doing it. I really don't care.

I tried to focus on the movie, but I just can't seem to sit still that long. I moved around, then sighed "I'm gonna go get me a coke, you want anything?" She smiled "No, but I'll go with you if you want." she said softly.

I smiled "You don't have to, I'm just tired of sitting here." She smiled, "I'll come." I got up, and she followed me out. It was nice to stretch a bit, and have the lights on so I could see everything clearly. She smiled "Are you enjoying the movie?" she asked.

I smiled "What movie? Oh...that one...Nope, Not really watching it." She smiled, shaking her head "How do you go to the movies, and not watch the movie?" I shrugged "I mainly come to get out of the house so Darry don't bug me about it. But that don't mean I always have fun, or enjoy it."

She nodded, kinda pacing around the lobby, me trailing behind. I hate sitting still...but I also don't like just staying in one place, that annoys me too.

"Let's ditch Steve and Evie..." I suggested. She looked at me like I was crazy for a second "What do you mean?" I shrugged "I'm not really watching the movie, so I thought maybe we could just go for a walk..."

She smiled "I'd like that." I grinned, and soon we were walking down the sidewalk next to each other. She sighed "I wish I hadn't told Reggie that I'd come home afterwards..." she trailed off.

I looked at her for a second "How come?" She just shrugged "Cause a couple days ago, he got drunk and kinda pushed me around one night... and if he's as mad as I think he is...he might drink again.."

I nodded, understanding, and we walked quietly for a little bit more. Then I sighed "You can come to my house. Steve sleeps over all the time when his dad kicks him out, so it's no problem."

She shook her head "I don't think I could... not after everything that's happened...It wouldn't be right.." she said quietly.

I sighed "No, it's fine...I don't care about what's happened... All I'm worried about right now, is that drunk bastard hurting you tonight cause you can to the movies with us."

She sighed, and things got quiet again. I yawned "Come on, let's head back.." She nodded, and soon we were back at the theater. I was disappointed to find that Steve had forgotten us, and left with Evie.

I sighed, "Come on, we'll walk.." I said heading down the road. She sighed "Soda..You don't have to be so nice..." I smiled "Don't worry about it... I'm use to it." She sighed, and didn't say anything until we got back to my house.

I walked her inside, and told her to ignore the mess. I grabbed some clean blankets, and pillows from the closet and dropped them on the couch for her. Darry came in, and asked how things went, and I told him that Steve had left us, and that she was staying the night.

He understood, and turned the heat up in our cold little house. Sometimes at night we just sleep with extra blankets, but since she was here, I guess he wanted her to be comfortable.

We all went to bed, but I couldn't sleep. I jumped up when I heard a crash in the living room, and the sounds of Amy screaming. I ran into the living room, seeing the front door thrown open, and Reggie literally dragging her out of the house.

I tackled him into the ground, not really worried about Amy yet, since she was already being thrown around by him. He cussed at me, and took a swing, but I dodged it, and hit him square in the nose.

He fell on his knees, cussing and holding his nose, before Darry showed up and threw him out of the house. I was startled by this entire event, since I didn't think he knew where I lived... but then I heard Amy sitting on the floor crying, and quickly got down next to her.

"Hey are you alright?" I asked, carefully putting my hand on her shoulder, she pulled away at first, then knocked me back as she dove into my arms crying against my chest. At first I was confused, and wasn't sure as to what to do...then I wrapped my arms around her, rocking her softly "Shhh..it's alright now."

I could hear Darry calling the cops, and I knew it was over since I couldn't hear Reggie's cussing outside anymore. Darry sighed, and made sure I was alright, before going back to bed, saying that he had to get up early in the morning for work.

I helped Amy up to the couch, and held her for a little bit. She cried for a while, obviously shaken.. Then just started talking. which kinda surprised me.

"H-he hits me when he's d-drunk, and I hate him...he t-tries to force himself on me all the time! I can't take it anymore! And my b-brother doesn't care! He doesn't believe me, ca-cause they've been friends forever." she cried.

I sighed, and rubbed her back just trying to get her to calm down a bit "Shhh...It's alright now, I'm here.." But she still continued to talk "God, Soda! I love you so much! I've always loved you, b-but he made it hard for me to ever see you, and I didn't want him to hurt you...and-and-and..."

I sighed, holding her close "I know baby, I love you too, now relax..." I rocked her back and forth softly, rubbing her back. She curled up in my arms, sniffling quietly. We sat there like that for a long time, until she finally fell asleep.

I planned on just holding her for a little bit longer, before laying her down and going back to bed myself, but I guess I fell asleep because the next morning, I could hear someone shuffling around, and being told not to wake us up. Then I heard Darry telling someone about what had happened that night.

I really didn't want to wake up, and have to talk about it, or why I was curled up on the couch with her, so I just relaxed into the couch again, and tried to go back to sleep. Which worked pretty well.


End file.
